Recently a neighbor saw my son and I skateboarding. Then a week later him and his son were out skateboarding… he did a fakie shuvit and I gave him props. I told him I can barely do an ollie. My son and I rode off for a hill to bomb. Later when we headed home, I did an ollie, and I told the dude I actually landed an ollie, I was stoked. It was the kind of exchange I have with people nowadays. Not too much, just enough to feel human. Like a week later he asked my wife if we wanted to come out and skateboard, I was pretty sure I seen him drinking beer earlier that day, so I immediately didnt want anything to do with that, but my boy grabbed his board and was like lets go! I said no bud he’s been drinking. My son was visibly disappointed. But I couldn’t bring myself to hang out with some dude I barely know, just because we both skate, especially to watch him guzzle beers. Im still not ready to make new friends, and I’m not sure I ever really will be… 
Also recently I snapped at work on someone I consider toxic. He said something about how blonde my hair is. I told him I’ve known him for 25 years, and if he wants respect, he has to give it, that I’m not the one, that im a professional and I will request not to work with him if he cant be professional. I asked him if he understood me like 3 times before he finally said he was sorry and that he wasn’t trying to start no shit with me. I told him I dont joke with other trades.
Sometimes I feel bad for having boundaries and standards, but thats because I denied myself of them for so long. I just want to be normal and get along with people and have friends, but its still really not in the cards for me. Im still playing me close, and not giving anybody a chance.
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Yea becuase the dude has made a joke of my hair twice now, and he asserted its all for fun, a joke. Thats part of the problem and why I asked him if we understood each other 3 times was because he was deflecting ownwrship of his toxic behavior. It was a must to make sure it doesnt happen again.
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And your jokes are total shit pal! Woulda been my reply, keep doing you Branden cos whatever your doing your doing it right 
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Thanks, its construction so hr rarely gets involved in these spats. We have to be adults and squash it ourselves.
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Yea thanks Kelly, thats how I feel. In active alcoholism I rarely confronted anyone and drank about it instead so its an upgrade for me to stand firm in who I am.
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Thanks Kristy, I dont want to force a friendship because I’m lonely. So yea that wouldnt be good for me.
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I work mostly with men im in the minority being a woman…but i know exactly what u mean…theres alot of banter going back and forth but to me personal stuff like that should be off the table, like theres jokes and then theres just being an arse, good for u setting boundries
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Are you working on yourself to try to bring more positive energy to social interactions?
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Yes but it always feels like 2 steps forward and 1 step back, especially at work in these type of situations.
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Maybe itl just take time for people to get used to your new boundries aswell Branden
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Is it possible your coworker meant the comment about your blonde hair as a compliment for looking young?
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Bro. I dont care what his intentions were really. I dont go around telling ANYONE they look some type of way. So I think its rude, SUS and creepy.
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Its a union job. Hes a carpenter who works for an outfit that subcontracts our office to paint. Kind of tricky. But I’ve told him 2 times now I’ll talk to his boss or mine. So thats my next move.
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YASSS! I’m not blind from alcoholism, I know my value, and I refuse to be disrespected. I’m a new version of me and I dont take no shit 
I already told this dude a couple years ago I wasnt the one, he just needed a refresher.
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I think he will have got it loud and clear 
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