I have a problem with alcohol and even some of the people closest to me don’t believe me. They think I’m “overanalyzing” myself or “being too hard” on myself. I guess they don’t
see me waking up at 2:00 am soaked in sweat, heart racing, stomach destroyed. They don’t notice how much weight I’ve gained. They can’t see that even if I go a couple days without drinking, I’m obsessing about that next drink CONSTANTLY (“what should I drink? How many? Just one? No two - two is my limit. I’ll have more on the weekend”). They don’t know that I can’t have any more alcohol in the house than what I intend to drink that night, cause I can’t stop if there’s more available. They don’t see the volumes upon volumes of moderation strategies I’ve written… And failed to abide by. They haven’t been there at 5:00 am when I’ve been crying my eyes out, looking up phone numbers for a crisis line.
I just want someone to believe me.
My goal is abstinence for a year (at least). I’m 2 days in.
I have had the same problem for ages. My parents or friends would never truly understand my situation. Nowdays I’m luckiest by finally having a girlfriend who really does support me every single day and is there for me on my bad days. It does make a huge difference. Also finally joined this group (this is my first post) and it has been great help even when I was just following without being part of conversations. I’m very much like you in that I can be days without drinking but when I do I very rarely am able to limit it, and I feel such sadness, regret and anxiety for many days afterwards. True sobriety is my goal and been getting better in the last few months but still such a long ways to go. I do hope all the best to you and I’m sure you’ll finally be able to find someone close to really believe.
Thanks for sharing and I can relate to this 100%, BUT it was because I never told my friends (or anyone really) how bad it had gotten.
They knew I sometimes drank too much, blacked out sometimes, always drank early on the weekends, but they never knew about sweating out a detox at 3am. Having to drink just to fall back asleep. Withdrawing deeper into depression. Drinking alone, calling into work, hiding bottles, etc. Again, because I did not tell this to anyone.
I basically had what I call a drive by intervention from my parents one morning when I should have been at work, and I decided I needed rehab.
It was then that I came clean with all my awful behavior and now they are fully supportive of my choice to stay sober. It was a wakeup call to me and them that I was not playing around anymore.
you’ve found this site though and it’s FILLED with people who can also relate and will also believe you! so, you’re in the right spot!
i’m sorry to hear you feel so alone in your struggles. people here certainly understand a lot of what you mentioned- obsessing over drinking, inability to stop when you start, and being unable to moderate your intake, crisis situations…
so i encourage you to look around as there are tons of great resources available here as well as a lot of SUPPORT!
great work staying sober for the past two days. keep at it.
I can relate. I still have people in my life that don’t think I’m an alcoholic and addict. But I don’t need anyone to verify that I am. I know. Your decision to get sober and be healthier and happier is about you. Look into some recovery programs to be around people that “get it” and understand like we do here.
I can relate to what you wrote!
I think before I would listen to people rationalize my drinking and aftermath because I was afraid. But I woke up 39 days ago and listened finally to that inner voice telling me enough is enough..how far do you really want to push this…how many lives do I really think I have… I still have people wanting to tell me I can drink in moderation. I don’t go in to detail with them, but politely say I’m getting shape for my upcoming 49th birthday. I don’t need to explain myself to people who don’t want to understand.
I know I sleep better, no more waking to sweats and heart racing!!
You can do this!! It only gets better everyday!!
Yesss! Thank you for sharing. I was thinking about the whole need to explain aspect and I was considering just tellng some people (who I’m not as close with) that it’s about getting into shaoe, or medical reasons. Actually I have vertigo, so even just quitting drinking to stop the vertigo is enough of an excuse. Heh… Actually the fact that I was drinking despite having vertigo… Choosing to be dizzy rather than stop drinking… Was one of the big clues that I might have a problem..
Don’t worry about setting a target like one year. That’s ambitious and might seem unachievable. Just try one week. You’ll find that you feel much better. And you will feel confident about extending it for another week. And so on.
And you will find plenty of support on here.
Well done already for posting on here. That’s more than many have the courage to do!
I can completely relate! No one knew I was drinking every night at 5pm. Obsessing over that drink.. or not to.. the guilt the excitement.. the guilt.. it’s like a horrible relationship and you want know one to know about.. when I know I was done done… I told people. And b so many of them didn’t believe me.. like u said.. I guess we hide it good! I told people so there wouldn’t be any way to turn back… But I also did it for me! Do it for you you deserve the freedom!!
Hey @OnTheVerge! I’m glad you are here congratulations on 2 days- that is awesome! Like others have said, you don’t need anyone else to tell you what you know. No one else can decide if you are an alcoholic, only you have the power to decide that. I would like to suggest, decide for this 24 hours if you will drink or not and what you will do if you start to obsess about or crave alcohol. Then when you start to obsess about alcohol reach out to your game plan. When you wake up tomorrow repeat the process. I’m happy for you on your decision!
Totally relate too. The people close to me thought my drinking was totally fine --with noble exception of my 12 year old. But you live your life, and if you know its a problem for you, you are 100%right.
Also, there’s no universe in which you could be doing the wrong thing, in cutting a dangerous unhealthy drug out of your life. You are right.
Same. I would talk to my best friend about it and she would say I’m fine and all that. I still haven’t told anyone except her, my mom, and my son that I want to quit drinking because I know no one will believe I have an issue with it.
You don’t need their approval to want to stay sober, all too often many of us succumb to the peer pressure which we have had thrust upon us by society and our friends family just so they can justify their own issues. It’s like if you don’t like alcohol you are not normal and boring.
I play tennis, run half marathons, I climb mountains, ski, ride my mountain bike on some scary as hell trails, I am confident in my sober skin to get up and dance, I am not boring, I am an active motivated, exciting individual.
You will discover so many positive sides to yourself through sobriety. No longer am I going to bed at 9.30 after drinking too much just to ensure I can get up for work in the morning.
Thanks so much Daithi. And I definitely agree about self-discovery while sober. I did three months of sobriety last year and once I was past the first couple weeks, I started to enjoy life in a way that I hadn’t in a long time. Looking forward to getting back there.
I hear you darling I’ve still got friends etc saying to me just have one… Come around for a girly chat and lots of wine etc… I am 1 month in now and it still gets me… Hot day would usually be off to beer garden but I’ve stayed strong and so can you.. We’ve identified we have a problem and we’re fixing it. You don’t need permission or for anyone else to agree you have a problem, if your constantly thinking when your next drink is and how much you should have like I was then you have a problem… If your going to bed promising to give up and you can’t… If your waking up crying hoping someone will listen and help… You already know you need to fix this and if all you need is for someone to say they believe you… I believe you and I believe in you x I’ve tried so many times I’ve goggled help at 3am in the morning I’ve tried to tell people I have a problem they make you feel like you can just have another drink your fine… I think it’s the society we live in its more acceptable to have a drink then to be sober x you can do this and so can I and this site helps when I feel like reaching for a drink I come on here and see how well I have done xx
Can absolutely relate to this post. I’ve made my struggle quite clear (or so I thought) but my mum and sister continue to advocate drinking in moderation “just don’t drink the whole bottle”. Well unfortunately I always do, and then some. They just don’t understand, or possibly dont want to believe, that I have no control with alcohol and that it is a problem for me. Good luck with your journey! X
My mom also says that… can relate!
And i also don’t want 1 glas: if i start i want the bottle!!! And before i got sober i started a second one… let’s stick together power girls! hug:turtle:
congratulations on 2 days- that is awesome! Like others have said, you don’t need anyone else to tell you what you know. No one else can decide if you are an alcoholic, only you have the power to decide that. I would like to suggest, decide for this 24 hours if you will drink or not and what you will do if you start to obsess about or crave alcohol. Then when you start to obsess about alcohol reach out to your game plan. When you wake up tomorrow repeat the process. I’m happy for you on your decision!
hug:turtle: