I’m coming back to alcohol every time. Been addicted to it for 15 years now. No matter what I logically think, something snaps, usually after sleepless night and I fall back in to it. All the things I logically think are out of the window. I just need the relief. It doesn’t help that I have gastritis and after drinking beer just for a day (copious amounts not gonna lie, 6 litters of 5.8%) I’m suffering for weeks. Weeks. It’s ridiculous. And when I heal up a little I’m back to the store. I don’t know what to do, my health is failing, I’m always sick, but I always pour that poison down my throat.
Hey, I’m so glad you reached out here–welcome to talking sober.
I’ve been where you are. I tried SO many times to quit, I knew how bad it was for me, but I kept showing up at the liquor store. Pretty much everyone here has been there.
First of all, you can absolutely do this. But it will take a willingness to try different things. Have you considered AA? There are even online meetings. You may even want to consider talking to your doctor.
One thing that really helped me in the early days was checking in here when I was tempted to drink. I told myself I could drink, but only if I read and commented for 10 minutes first. It helped.
Just grit it out, 5 minutes at a time. We’re all here for you.
There is always a way out, yes we are addicts and it is difficult but it is always a choice wether you take that first drink or not, why not try coming here before you take a drink and we can try to help you…
I totally get how you feel. I was in the position before too. I needed to drink in the morning to relieve the sickness because I was that addicted. After my second hospital visit I decided to go to detox straight from the hospital. It helped a ton. I didn’t commit to a true form of sobriety for another year after that honestly, but I did dip my feet into AA and it was still there when I was fully ready to commit to the program. Learning about your mental health is important too in my opinion. An IOP would also be helpful. Insurance covers most of this too or at least a good position in a lot of cases and if you don’t have insurance there’s always someone who wants to help still and a way can be found. My suggestion honestly is to seek treatment and also give a program like AA a shot. I still do it over a year and a half later and it’s been the best decision I ever made
I too came from a place of “I’ll never be able to quit/it’s impossible/there’s no way out of this”.
Then I found this space and I started reading the stories of those who WERE able to quit, who made it POSSIBLE, and who could point the WAY OUT to me. It was truly a turning point. In the first few weeks and months, it changed my mindset completely to one of capability and confidence that I COULD do it if I put myself to it.
I encourage you to stay in the forum, read everywhere, engage, ask for advice, read with an open mind. We are here for you.
Thank you for your replies. It’s day 8 sober today. Doing really bad, mainly because of the stomach issues which as per usual after a binge are getting progressively worse each day till the week 3 when it starts to ease up a little. That seems impossibly far away right now, but I have some determination growing. Just a month or so ago I already had 40 days which was for the first time in 15 years.
I’ve been reading through some threads. Although I’ve been occasionally reading through forums like this for a decade at least and listening to sober youtubers for few years almost daily still found some great insights and experiences that has been motivating me these few days, pushing forward and giving some hope that it is indeed possible to remove alcohol from my life for good.
Well done on your 8 days and I hope yoi can find ways to soothe your tummy. Ginger mints or tea helps mine a little sometimes.
Like @Merryshoes, I was also in the ‘I will never be able to get sober’ club. I had been drinking since 15 and was into my 50s and it had gotten so very bad the last decade+. And like you, I had joined many forums, read seemingly all the quit lit and recovery books, and all that also for about a decade. I was desperate, suicidal and without much hope. This place helped me over the hump. The people here did that and their encouragement and experience. I was on here all the time reading reading reading. And there is certainly A LOT more to read now and people with a ton more long term sobriety. I remember thinking I could never get 30 days or 60 or 90, certainly not a year…but the days add up if we let them. It was inspiring then and is still inspiring now.
Glad you are here and hope you stick around, you can do this! Change the pattern.
This place helped me over the hump. The people here did that and their encouragement and experience. I was on here all the time reading reading reading. And there is certainly A LOT more to read now and people with a ton more long term sobriety. I remember thinking I could never get 30 days or 60 or 90, certainly not a year…but the days add up if we let them. It was inspiring then and is still inspiring now.
