Hi. I’m not coping at all today and I don’t know where else to turn. I am so lonely and so sad and I just want everything to end. I’m on day 75 AF . I know there’s a bottle of gin in the cupboard. Im ashamed of how awful and wretched I feel. I’m so so sorry to be utterly self pitying.
7 Likes
75 days is really huge! A whole month and a half where you have stood strong. You need to believe that that is the person you are now: a strong, resilient human being. Tell yourself. Believe in yourself.
In more practical terms, can you get out of the house, take a walk, pick up the phone and talk to someone? Are there meetings (in person or online) you could get to? Can you pour the alcohol away? You know drinking will only make things worse.
I believe you can get over this craving. One hour, one minute at a time if needed. Talk to us here.
3 Likes
Can you ditch the bottle? Give it away to your neighbour? Pour it trough the sink?
I’m sorry you feel so sad and lonely. Talk about it here and focus on getting trough this day sober. That’s for now the most important thing. Drinking won’t solve a thing. Tomorrow you will hate that you did, so don’t.
3 Likes
Thank you both so much.i need to escape. Husband at a big gala with champagne and big fancy meal, I’m awaiting back op and in hospital again tomorrow, I’m working 15 hour days and ironing now. My autistic daughter abuses me verbally. I feel like a miserable drudge. other than that happening I’m a completely invisible being in my own home. I so so appreciate your kind words. I need to take it minute by minute.
2 Likes
I’m looking at HALT. I am so angry, lonely and tired. I’d be hungry too but I’m too upset to eat. I suppose that makes sense then . Thank you again xx
2 Likes
75 days is fantastic! Glad you came here rather than running to old comfortable solutions. Merryshoes gave you some great advice so I don’t have much to add. Remember this too shall pass, nothing lasts forever. What helps me is going to an in person meeting and sharing how I feel. Or calling another alcoholic. If neither of those are an option, then I listen to meetings on line. I frequently use intherooms.com where they have meetings every other hour. I have a disabled child and her behavior easily sets me off so those online meetings have been a life saver for me.
3 Likes
You are so kind. Thank you. So much. I will try this xx
2 Likes
From someone who is in huge admiration of how many days you have, keep going!!! I was so sad and depressed last Saturday I resorted to drinking. Didn’t solve a thing. Sending you my thoughts x
4 Likes
I’m pulling for you! The thought of the drink helping anything (it always makes it worse, yes?) will pass, you can tolerate the momentary discomfort it brings. I bet that part has probably already gone, and now you can deal much better with the HALT problems and the stress. If no-one else treats you well, you can do a little something for yourself, even just time out for a cup of tea. If no one else has told you, we here believe you are worthy and beautiful. 
4 Likes
I’m chiming in too! You are doing an amazing job with your sobriety. So happy you turned to TS , that’s exactly what it’s here for. And don’t apologize for having those thoughts and feelings. Life isn’t perfect and sometimes it’s downright shitty, so when it gets shitty, you reach out and you take extra good care of yourself. Sending you hugs.
3 Likes
Thank you so much. Why do I think it will fix things? I know it won’t.Thank you again. I will keep going xx
2 Likes
Thank you so so much. I’m ashamed that my husband’s glamorous night out is so triggering. I can get through this. I am so grateful to you being here xx
3 Likes
Thank you. Gosh I am so grateful to have found this place! I feel like I actually exist. That’s the hardest thing. Thinking I just don’t matter at all. That I’m a disgrace. Do you want to know the saddest thing - I feel like my family are so ashamed of me I hid a non alcoholic beer. Even though they all drink.
3 Likes
Stay strong Twinkle! 2 1/2 months is amazing.
Sometimes I find negative visualization helps. You’re in hospital tomorrow - that makes most people anxious as it is. Now imagine how it will feel with a hangover- beyond miserable. Go on, really visualize it. Ok… I hope that makes you want the alcohol less.
Something else I would say - you mention a lot of negative external influences as affecting you quite deeply. Of course we all understand that, but other people are not YOU. You have to choose how much impact you let them have on you. If you feel your family are judging you negatively, perhaps you need to stand up for yourself and let yourself feel the pride you richly deserve for 75 days sober. WE are all hugely proud of you for that achievement, as addicts we all know how hard that is. You must find pride in that for yourself, not for anyone else. Most people who merely LIKE something, be that chocolate, running, whatever it is, would find it mentally very hard to voluntarily deny themselves the thing they like. They have no idea how much harder it is when you’re mentally and physically addicted !
3 Likes
I see you, you are doing amazingly despite your troubles and im proud of you because i know how truly hard this is, you are certainly not a disgrace, keep leaning on us its what we are here for, we all understand here, sending big hugs and love to you 
3 Likes
Your words mean so much. There’s one lady at work I have told who speaks to me like this and I can’t tell you what it means and how much it helps to read your words. I have only ever thought of my worth as being defined by other people but you sum it up so well. Gosh that gives me food for thought. X
1 Like
Thank you so much Starlight. I thought nothing would get me through today. It felt like rock bottom. But knowing you are all here. That is really something xx
4 Likes
When i first came here i was rock bottom too, i was absolutely on the floor but the people on here with their understanding, compassion and amazing advice pulled me back up, ive been here ever since, stick with us friend
3 Likes
I’m sorry you were having a tough time @Twinkle2. Well done for reaching out! It took me a while to learn how to do that. The folks that have responded have pretty much said it all but I wanted to let you know I think you’re doing amazingly!! 75 days is fantastic! I’m so glad you’re here with us and I’m so grateful for this place and everyone on it!! We are stronger together!! 
3 Likes
are you feeling better today?
I hope so
2 Likes