I can totally relate to this. I too can also go for a civilised dinner and have a few glasses of wine, stop and be fine. The problem for me is when the situation does not itself provide the external parameters for control e.g. a dinner with a start and an end and an expectation that drinking isn’t the main event. When it’s a party or a night out, with no specific limits then I’m prone to losing control and keep drinking often until I blackout. Sometimes I’m ok and can stop, other times I’m not. What I’ve found is once I’m past a certain level of drunkness I have no control at all. At a dinner I won’t get to that stage (most the time). But going to the pub etc I easily can, especially if others around me are drinking alot too. I’ve tried many different ways to control my drinking, trying to only have 2-4 drinks, trying to have more water, trying to go home at a set time, only drinking certain drinks etc. None of them have worked unfortunately. So for me after failing a million times at moderation, and causing a lot of chaos in the process, I now accept that I cannot control myself and have to go sober. Not saying that your experience is the same as mine, but just sharing in case it helps.
Someone on here said: “when I drink a little, I become a different person and that person drinks a LOT”. I can so relate to that statement and your experiences, congratulations on choosing sobriety! 
I would rather go through life sober and wondering if I actually needed to stop than go through life drunk and wondering if I can a actually stop
First, welcome @Lefrodongo. Questioning if you have a problem or not, may just give you your answer. If you find yourself needing to control your drinking in certain situations, there may be an issue. From a personal standpoint, when I was controlling my drinking, I was a jerk and not someone that people wanted to be around because I craved drinking and couldn’t control my frustration and anger that I wasn’t drinking. That helped me see that I had a problem. I’d suggest talking to a medical professional or a substance abuse expert. Below is a list of questions from the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism (United States). This isn’t the end all be all of answering if you are or aren’t, but it helps give you and a medical professional an idea of where things stand.
Hey, I totally relate to what you’re saying. I was questioning my drinking in my early 20’s and I still question it now to a degree. Ive come to the conclusion logically that, if I haven’t figured it out in nearly ten years, then the answer is pretty clear. Emotionall I despratly wish I could drink in moderation consistantly. I think alot of people struggle with moderation specifically in crowded social settings.
I guess the question to ask yourself is what sobriety can bring to the table for you and is it worth giving drinking up for those things
For me the answer is to try my best to stay sober. And yeah I mess up here and there, but I don’t want to stop trying because for me the bennifits outweigh a fun night out followed by a morning or two of groggy hangovers that are also potentially filled with regret and shame.
The only person who can decide whats best for your lifestyle is you!