Hello, im in my early twenties and i do not know if im an alcoholic or not. My issue is that i have been drinking since sixteen, and a lot of times i do not control myself. If i want to i can have 2 or 3 beers while eating w friends and stop while not feeling bad, the problem is in partys or gatherings where there comes a time I cannot stop. I’m here trying to better myself but I still think that there is a way to control it. Thank you for listening.
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Hi Alfredo, welcome to Talking Sober. I commend you for coming here and questioning your drinking habits. If you ask me, and in my experience, asking the question about control is answering it at the same time. People who don’t have a problem with drinking don’t have to ‘control’ their drinking either. They do so automatically. And having to ‘control’ our drinking makes it no fun to drink either. I feel.
You’ve come to this place called Talking Sober. The people that come here have lost control over their substance abuse (or other addictive behaviours). And none of us are finding that control back. Once lost stays lost. The only control we have is total abstinence. I know that’s a big step. I’m glad you are thinking about it. It took me till my 50’s to finally do it. Best decision I took in my life and should have done it at least 30 years earlier. I’m glad you’re here, take your time to read around, form yourself an informed opinion and make an informed decision too. Wishing you all success friend.
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Thanks for the answer, I started today because Saturday I had a wedding, everything was going excellent but then people ordered shots. After the second shot I lost control, I wanted more until I left. I understand and I want to quit or at least show myself I can go to gatherings without drinking. My purpose is, on holidays not drink a single sip of alcohol. Sorry for my English I’m not a native speaker.
Even so, I hope someday I can trust myself to have fun w/o alcohol, and because of my career of choice, alcohol is very recurrent, so I don’t want it to be too late when I stop drinking. I’ve talked to my gf and I’ve came to a decision to test myself not to drink, if I can’t I know that I have to take serious choices to better myself.
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Your English is just fine. Many non native speakers here, myself included.
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I’m 21 myself. Family history of alcoholism but didn’t think I had a problem… multiple severe withdrawals, hospital admissions and detoxes later, I can’t say that now.
My general rule of thumb is: If you have to question yourself if you have a problem, you certainly do.
I’d recommend reaching out to your GP/Doctor and getting help early, even if it’s just leaflets etc.
I know it’s hard at our age to not drink, but it certainly doesn’t make us boring! Make use of the forum, you’re in the right place.
Good luck.
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Right now I’m here trying to convince myself that I do have a problem and while it might be now something easy to invalidate I don’t want it to be too late.
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@Alfredo,
Yes, we are alcoholics we cannot drink in control, Only thing we can do is stay away from first drink. Do you know I’m job loss now due to drinking, Do you know I asked myself that others who drink with me have ability to control their self, They drink and enjoy after they will do their job, for me if I take one drink, my brain say I need more, and more, after heavy hungover, and depression I’m not able to do my job.
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Good plan. That’s the first step. Can you get advice from a professional to help? Willpower will only take you so far…
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At this moment I cannot take professional advise, right now the person that is helping me is my Girlfriend, who told me that, while it might be harmless at the moment, she told me to evaluate my habits, also I do have alcoholics in my family, so I came here with the purpose not to drink on Christmas and this holidays. Maybe forever.
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Can I ask why not? I’m glad your girlfriend is a good support, but she’s not a trained professional.
In my family’s experience professional mental help isn’t something that it’s worthwhile, I once went to a professional and ended up angrier with everyone, after a conflict in my family we patched things up and since then I haven’t gone back. After your advise I have right now open an email to make an appointment with my college psicólogyst, but I haven’t hit send jaja
Just to clarify, we really did talk and patch things up in a healthy and good way.
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Mental health professionals are just like other people, @Lefrodongo, some are a better personal fit with you than others. It may be worth continuing your search until you find one that you really vibe with and then stick it out?
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You know, I could have written this myself.
My first drink was when I was 12. Once I started, I couldn’t stop.
The second time I drank, I was 14. Once I started drinking, I couldn’t stop.
Then at 15, couldn’t stop. And so on.
In my early 20’s, it was fun, stupid, but fun. Friday nights me and the boys would drink until we couldn’t drink no more. Then we’d wake up and do it all over again Saturday.
I didn’t drink every night, nor every weekend, so it was all good, right? That was my thinking. But when I started, I couldn’t stop. That was the problem.
This continued until I reached my 30’s. Then it slowly went from just weekends to some week days, to more week days to then pretty much everyday.
My way of controlling my drinking was really just hangover management. The older you get, the worst they get. So by managing the hangovers, I thought I was controlling my drinking.
But it got worse. I started making poor decisions. I started becoming obsessed with drinking. I would do whatever I could to drink; lie, cheat, steal, the occasional odd job, nothing was off the table.
Then came the legal problems. And the suspended license, and the marital problems…
By the time I was 40, I realized I was an alcoholic and I’ve always been one. So I quit.
I could have written this when I was your age, so I would suggest you take a good hard look at yourself, so you don’t have to write my story when your my age.
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Hi there.
My two cents on the discussion:
- like others said: if you’re asking the question, your answering it
- your story is not unusual in the sense that you’ll find A LOT of people that went / are going through the same thing
- my advise: find a few people here that inspire trust for you and connect internally (chat) and share more. The more you talk about it, the more you will find it easier to cope and win confidence to stop the habits and find new ways to tackle it.
Hope you have success. I just turned 1 year after my last relapse and have been fighting this for the last 4 years.
Trust the journey! And you got this!
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Thank you all, I think I’ll stay in the community for a while, I’ve been reading a lot of threads in here and going through every answer. I’ll take your advices to heart. Thanks yo each and every one that has commented
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Two key points…are you powerless against alcohol and has your life become unmanageable?
You’re young and alcoholism is a progressive disease. If you’re sniffing around here, that might be a sign. Legal or chronic relationship problems are indicators too.
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At this point it I know I’m not soberly powerless against alcohol, there are two things that I have noticed, I do not need alcohol when I’m sober, when I’m in a place where shots are given I loose control, when I’m in a restaurant drinking casually I do not loose control or when I’m with my girlfriend drinking a wine bottle I do not need more.
Im here because of the first situation, which I have noticed can make things difficult in my life such, social settings (party’s and gatherings) are really common in my family and my work life. When this things happen I’m prone to blackouts and the next day I have really bad thoughts of guilt, whenever I get blackouts. That’s why I’m here, learning and seeking help, I do not want to loose control of myself to a drug so soon.
Also, I won’t drink anything until I have found answers within myself about my situation, your advices have given me a lot to think about.
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There was a time in my life where I wasn’t powerless to alcohol. I was in my early twenties then.
Alcoholism is insidious and it creeps up and only gets worse. It destroys everything good all the while making you more and more dependent on it.
You have a chance to change the trajectory of that possible future for yourself.
I’m glad you’re here seeking answers and asking yourself the important questions. 
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Another key point: Sobriety is progressive as well. Most of us begin with avoiding the drink, then looking for alternatives to booze, and eventually wanting healthy, nutritious imbibements.
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