Feeling so anxious and disappointed in myself as I had a few beers yesterday. It was a beautiful day, I drank passionfruit cordial and soda for most of it. But I was thinking about alcohol most of the time, I eventually caved and convinced myself a couple of lite beers won’t hurt. The good thing is I did just have those couple of beers, but I have been down this road before… I can always control myself for a while when I have been sober for a bit but it doesn’t take long before I am my old binging self. My mind is feeling a bit consumed by all this lately. I am always so hard on myself I think this might sometimes be my downfall. I was feeling so great but lately I just feel so unsure of myself and life. I don’t understand why I let something that does nothing but slow me down in life take up this much of my thoughts. I am trying to tell myself it’s not so bad, you don’t have a hangover or black outs but I also know if I make it okay I know where I’ll be again very soon.
Take it completely off the table, it’s not an option anymore.
When you hear that voice tell it to eff off. There’s no reason why you need it. The day is beautiful just as it is. 
Whenever that little voice creeps in saying hey they stores just down the street. I try to find somrthing to take my mind of it, do some house work, a hobby, jam some tunes, grab a snack. Stay strong and take it one day at a time
You do have the right frame of mind about this. You know this is a slippery slope. I could go have a couple during a social occasion, but I face a harder and quicker relapse if I let these slips occur. It’s really hard with the weather being nice and needing to socialize. Good for you for recognizing the risk and coming here.
Thank you for the replies, I really do need to post more often. Definately helps matters I think. @DLS You are actually so right, I was laughing and enjoying the day before I had the alcohol now that I think about it. Such a mind thing. @alexnm @LeeHawk thank you for these supportive words. It means a lot. I don’t want to end up in that bad place and ugly state of mind again.
It’s poison, don’t deceive yourself. You are worth it.