One of the things that I found when first hanging around this forum was that firstly I’m not alone. I have very similar issues to others here, something that I probably didn’t come across in day to day life.
Something I also noticed was that there’s always someone doing stupider stuff than I was… It made me feel like all the stupid stuff I did, at least I wasn’t the only one.
I’ll open with not the worst but just a little something. Mods please feel free to delete and reprimand me if this is too far off side.
Over the years I’ve hidden my drinking from family. I’m a big beer guy. When I was on one I’d often wander off on my bicycle and pick up some beers and dip them wherever out of sight. Last time out I found myself down a disgusting laneway. There was used needles and human waste there. I drank my tin of beer and moved onto my next spot. Not my proudest moment but there you have it.
What wasn’t your absolute worst moment but something you would like to just get out there and put it behind you.
I have a photo of myself holding an off duty police officer’s gun in Chicago after skinny dipping in Lake Michigan. I then went on to drive 6 hours after closing down the bars. At the time I thought it was reckless and fun. Now I see that as a testament to how little I cared for my own safety.
Isn’t it good that sober you can look back at it as a lesson in what not to do? I’m using past experiences to put the break’s on me picking up the first one.
Would drive weekly for Monday night drinks with friends. Yup - and drive home afterwards. Some nights would pull into a truck stop off the highway to sleep it off (super safe ) Did this for almost a year. hit my car on off ramp railing one time that made me rethink my choices. Didn’t think too hard cause i still continued to drink for years afterwards. I am super fortunate that no one was hurt!
I’ve driven… It’s not good and I’m not proud. But it’s in the past. I’m keeping those memories as tokens and I drop one in the slot any time I’m tempted
Well theres definitly more than a “few” cringe worthy moments to choose from unfortunately and i dont like to think about them too often. But looking back it does show me how far ive come. Your post is definitly bringing alot of gratitude into my life right now
But theres incisents such as puking outside the vehicle door bcuz i was too high, while also being indecently exposed. I ended up puking on someones shoes as they walked by :(… to living in some verrrry rough rooming houses where Id rather not mention the conditions id have to live in. All becuz of addiction. Not one of the worst scenerios, but definitly a shameful one is the first time I ever used a needle, it was a dirty. Didnt even know the woman that used it before me. All i knew was that she was my abusive exs new gf. That was how little I valued my safety and my life. All i cared about was getting high. Nothing else mattered back then. Soooo damn grateful to be at 567 days clean and sober today! Now the only thing that matters to me is my recovery and those close to me. Being the best version of myself I can be. And being of service to others.
I have a ton of worst moments and at the time I didn’t think them that bad but looking back I could have hurt a lot of people.
When I was 17- I drove my friend and I home drunk at speeds of 90-100 to get home before her dad got home early from his overnight shift.
When I was in my 20s- I had the opportunity to see Disturbed. I got too wasted before they even came on stage and my ex put me into a car. I drove home. I don’t even remember that drive home. I really can’t believe I survived that one.
When I was in my late 20s I spent multiple months smoking that K2 fake weed stuff. I ended up losing a job because of all of that. Once I lost the job I spent almost 6 months drowning my grief of losing my mom. I was drunk all day everyday.
There are plenty more moments but I don’t like to dwell on them. I prefer to focus on my present and being sober and enjoy the moments I wouldn’t have if I was drinking. Last year I saw Korn and Evanescence in concert. One of the best nights of my life and I can remember every detail. I recently hiked to the highest point in the Guadalupe Mountains and cried at the top because of the overwhelming feelings I had. I take my dogs walking almost every day, which never happened when I was a drunk. The joy on their faces fills my heart with happiness.
I’m glad that I know now that drinking no longer holds any fun. One drink would take me straight back into chaos and overuse. I can’t go back that way. Onward!
I got my first DWI 3 months after turning 21. Three months after that, without a license, I drove to the bar to see a band. I don’t remember leaving, or what else happened, but next thing I do know, it’s 7am and I’m crashed into a tree. I get out and walk home ONE block and go to sleep. 11am my dad’s banging on my door “I told you not to drive last night!” Police knocking, car towed and totaled, and all I got was a speeding ticket. Fucking reckless.
Another blackout gem. My ex and I were fighting after the bar(usual). In the past he had stolen money from me while drunk to buy more booze. My drunken self decided to hide the money I had before he could find it. Then I forgot I did it. Went so psycho on him for ‘stealing’ my money the neighbors called the cops. I told the cops ‘what happened’ and he got arrested! He swore up and down he had no idea where it went. I didn’t believe him until I found the money hidden in one of my socks a couple weeks later.
I honestly could go on and on with stupid stories from over the past 20+ years. The past 200 days on the other hand…I can’t think of one. I was saying the other day, I don’t think I could get embarrassed anymore. There’s nothing I could do now, sober, that compares to the things I’ve already done.
Hangovered, or maybe better say - still drunk af, I called Sunday morning to work that I have stomachache and I can’t come today to work (my drunk ass lost truck of time and I thought it’s Monday).
When I was young and partying a lot I never remember people I’ve met before. I was talking to ppl like I never seen them before, I repeat myself awfully, making idiot of myself. Everybody knew Mischa never remember shit.
Those are some lighter ones, serious moments are other story.
) Did this for almost a year. hit my car on off ramp railing one time that made me rethink my choices. Didn’t think too hard cause i still continued to drink for years afterwards. I am super fortunate that no one was hurt!
