Hello everybody ,
I was doing good but 4 months ago my wife and I décided to separate After 16 years of mariage , since then i relapsed 13 Times , I know How to live a good Life with out alcool and drugs , I Did it for a long Time but now it seems that im blocked in the négative spiral . I know that if I continue this way , I Will crash the wall. I know that im capable but it seems that this Time I cant find the way out .
Im now with a beautifull woman , shes
Not addict to anything but it triggers me everytime I Meet with her Friends or she invite me to a party , I love her but I know that the only way to live my Sober Life is to be single for the moment , its really a dilemna for me .
If somebody lived the same expérience or have a advice for me , thanks a lot .
This forum helped me a lot to live my Sober Life before .
Vincent
hey Vincent im glad you’re showing up for yourself here. the good news is, you know how to live sober, you’ve done it before and you will do it again. going thru a separation is devastating and disorienting so first please forgive yourself for using this old coping mechanism. and then let’s find some new ones that aren’t toxic, but actually healthy and help us grow.
i was drunk for 12 years until i got pregnant - and then when my son was 6 months old i left his abusive father and i started drinking again to “escape” the pain of the grief i felt for the separation. of course, drinking is not actually an escape and it only makes things worse, as you are well aware.
i’ve now been sober for 10 months, longest i’ve ever gone. life is ten million times better since i’ve learned how to grieve. that’s what i would suggest to you. learn how to grieve. it’s time to let go and step into the new version of yourself, without your wife. sending you a big hug brother 
Thanks a lot for your words Julia
And congratulations for your 10 months Sober , its only the beggining and Life is beautifull this was
Much love
Hi Vincent! Sorry to hear about the difficulties you’ve had. My childrens mother, my ex-wife, we were together 14 years and I was sober for 5 yrs. After the divorce I relapsed, crashed down hard and started using drugs and alcohol again and it stopped 5 days ago which I’ve been sober. I’ve been in rehab multiple times, but now I know that I’m gonna make it this time. Stay strong, mate! You got this, you’re not alone.
I left my wife after 13 years my drinking was a problem two weeks after that i went to a meeting havnt had a drink since so recover is different for people got divorced two years later was 2 years sober then her boyfriend moved in was living with my elderly parents my dad had Parkinsons lost my Businesses didnt want to lift a drink had a good sponsor was on a 12 step program wise decision in 1986 ( no internet then ) wish you well
Hey Brother. DM me if you want to chat.