Old ideas new thoughts

I was sober for 11 days. weed is no merry goround anymore as some of you know. it gives me head akes. I relapsed for the 1st time in 11 days. everywhere I went I was reminded of it. I cant imagine what its like to relapse with a long term sobriety as many of you know also. the high was extremely uncomfortable and gave me a headake and i only took 2 hits. im preaching to the quier I know. it was a extremely impolsive. I feel bad about telling people im quitying then I do it. its not ok to use but its ok to come back. the only thing good about my 14 almost 15 years oc heavybpot use was that I dudnt get addicted ti snything else which is a huge blessing like no1 will ever believe.

but some do

today it was on my mind sence I woke up at 9am. I had to listen to music for hours to make me feel better and it worked so I can use that in the future

my gf said its ok that I messed up but I know and i know she knows its not

look what I l larned was that I can want it all I want but thats not going to change the way I feel when im using. it made me feel sick to my stomic and gave me a headake and made me tired as fk. im not happy and feel low about myself because I know what its done to me and put me through. also I tell everyone im 11 days sober then I relapse

my experience is not good

thus time if I see it im immediately turning away and leaving the situation.

god bless you all and dont do what I did which was… relapse

p.s. that word isnt good
…I relapsed