Hi y’all! Next month will be my two year sober birthday. I literally never thought I’d say that out loud. Recently I’ve been having really crazy flashbacks. The situations that are coming up took place over 10 years ago. I’ve changed so much as a person…why do I still see the old me? I’m trying to figure out how I can let these memories go and forgive myself for the past. Can anyone relate?
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I can relate. It feels like noisy crowd of memories pounding on my door, trying to get back into my thinking.
Personally I find the more I try to fight them myself, the stronger they get. I try to accept that they will always be a memory I have. The difference is to face them and say yes, I remember you, I accept that in my past. I talk about them with my sponsor, and with other friends in my recovery group. I accept them as something I can’t control: the past is past, it is not in my control. I surrender; I give up trying to control it. I also take the opportunity to read some passages from quit-lit (in my case I read the “white book”, the main text of SA). I find that helps. It’s always one day at a time.
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Welcome @JLR! Congrats on your sobriety!
I can relate too. What’s helped me to accept my past is working a 12 step program. I can’t change what happen. But my past is what’s made me the person I am today and that’s a lady of grace and dignity.
Wishing you the best on your journey.
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Maybe there’s a lesson to learn from looking at my past that can help me today in my recovery ??