So…I’m bit of sad, ashamed and tired of this neverending circle of being drunk, sober, plans stop drinking and finding the right excuse to postpone the plan. All of this is a result of a situation I explained here few weeks ago and stopped running, doing any training and let myself to walk on a path of… well, apathetic destruction. But at least I’m not feeling depressed any more, which I’m thankful for… So, this is supposed to be my first day on a new path of being sober as any other option is just a walk in hell. I know what I want and God and Jesus is out there just need to open my heart I guess. Happy New Year guys
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I’m sorry to hear that you are sad. I totally understand that feeling of being on the never ending merry-go-round. It’s helping me this time to focus on what I am going to do differently this time to stop the cycle. All I know for now it that it is coming here every day to read, commit and hold myself accountable. If you are open to it, try an online meeting. It’s the first time I have added that to my toolkit and its been so helpful. I was really nervous at first but you can join quietly and no-one knows you are there and you can just listen until its over. I’m only on day 4 but feeling good about getting through the early days. No more excuses, its time to get off the merry-go-round and start living.
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