So I’ve been holed up in my recently deceased step dad’s bedroom sleeping and watching movies. In my depressed daze I haven’t been taking my anti depressants, which I realized today because I’ve been crying incessantly. Today is one of the hardest days I’ve had in a very long time. I’ve managed to distract myself in the past hour with a movie. But I’m just scared of me breaking down again. My sisters are not talking to me which is making this so much harder right now. I don’t even know if I want to keep taking my anti depressants now cause I have to go to detox next week or whatever and I just want to be off everything. I’m just feeling very vulnerable and destructive right now.
Here is a deep breathing exercise gif. that I use when I’m feeling down, or destructive. I promise you as crappy as things are and might get, it’s momentary; it will pass, and you will look back at this time with many lessons learned, and a stronger healthier you.
I understand things are hard.
One would think that putting one’s self in a recently deceased family members room could only provide negative thoughts and energy just due to the passing. Especially if you haven’t dealt with the emotions yet.
That being said don’t fear breaking down. Crying is beneficial. if you have to cry. Cry. Just don’t work yourself up to a place of anxiety.
If I may offer some advice. Since your awake. You could try guided meditations on YouTube. Yoga. even writing out your thoughts just for the sake of getting them out of your head. Or if you need a sounding board feel free to vent here. I’ll be up for a bit if you want to talk
In case you haven’t heard it today:
YOU’RE AWESOME and I LOVE YOU
I second what everyone else has said.
But I would just like to add that if you have been prescribed antidepressants, then stopping suddenly will not be good for you. Without support from your doctor and an agreed slow stopping plan you might be experiencing withdrawal from them. Trust me, I’ve been right there.
If you’re worried about taking antidepressants while on your detox, speak to the professionals there for advice.
Right now, put yourself first and keep focused on your recovery. You are doing amazing.