Not my first and I’m sure not my last time being in this boat. I was good for few years being sober then covid isolation trapped me with my anxiety. Anxiety and panic attacks led me back to fent then h then fent and cycle repeats. That first part of relapse always say ohh just a little… Then oh maybe a little more…
This last week no matter how much i did I just wasnt enjoying it. No matter what substance. Which put me back on track. What’s the point of being high if your not enjoying it?
Yesterday I finished what I had left and here I am 33 hours later.
I am a huge baby when it comes to withdrawal so I am cheating with some suboxone. Don’t have much, very short term. I’m never putting myself on it again. Did that once. Getting off it wasn’t fun.
Restless leg is destroying me tho. Just took a serious epsom salt bath hoping for relief.
Anyways that’s me.
P. S. I’ve almost died from fent (years ago on Christmas day). Woke up in ER with lots of narcan (turned blue, stopped breathing). Hellish experience. I was kicking, screaming, swearing, shaking, sweating, and dry heaving all almost at the same time. Im always amazed that experience isn’t enough to keep me back from opiates.
Welcome James. This forum has helped me tremendously and I’m sure it will do the same for you. I find reading a lot and interacting helps to keep me focused. I’m 325 days off opioids. This is my first and hopefully last attempt at sobriety. The withdrawal was hell even with the help of detox and I never wanna go back to that. Wishing you the best.
Understand fully the cycle you feel with opiates…
It can be done I’m 11 days with no opiates… 3 years of knowing I had the issues.
I’ve had to avoid so much but I feel good
I hope you find the peace your heart desires. Until then, find solace here knowing that we are all just trying our best to cope with the hands that have been dealt us, and remember you’re not alone.
There is always hope!
I thought I was going to kick opiates myself. By day 3 I was feeling better but I had no energy. I could barely move around. And I knew I had to go back to work tomorrow. So I ended up going back. And I hate myself for it. Especially because my best friend was rooting for me and was right by my side and I still did it right under her nose. I just want to be free from it.