I thought recently I was really ready. Turns out I wasn’t. I still feel in my heart it would be the right decision. Just struggling to get restarted. Give me your best beginner tips!
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I was “on the fence,” my whole life. It never happened.
When I finally got off the fence and committed to a new way of living and got support was when I was able to do it.
I wish I didn’t wait so long in my life to get off that dang fence. It’s been so freeing not planning my whole day around my next drink.
And I was scared. Could I live a sober life? Could I live without my booze? It turns out I can. Now. Don’t know if I could then.
Probably not much help. But fear and shame are big part of my recovery. Its taken me a lot of work.
I hope you find what you’re looking for.
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Ditto what @Dazercat stated. Sobriety brings a huge amount of freedom, but you have to commit for yourself.
Check out these links, they helped me once I got off the fence:
Daily Gratitude, The Air Of Recovery #6
There are plenty of us who get you, support you and know that you’ve got this!
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You know when you’re thinking about how fun it was to be drunk, or how good it could feel? Remind yourself of what inevitably happens - some variant of feeling like shit for one reason or another.
I decided I didn’t want to feel like shit anymore.
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Find your “why”.
Write down your thoughts about the positives of use and the positives of sobriety and see which column is longer.
Write down the reasons you are questioning your decision to quit.
I did this early on and found a long list of reasons not to drink and in the reasons to keep drinking column the words “because it is easier”.
Then I quit and haven’t looked back. I also had a fairly cringeworthy last night of drinking that I can always choose to look back on if I’m missing alcohol. I do that from time to time if I ever get the feeling that I could just have a drink.
This is your life and you captain the ship. Figure out which way you want to steer. 
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best tip i can give you try a meeting might help ,helped me stay sober wish you well
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I’ll echo what @Dazercat said. I’d wish I’d gotten off the damn fence a lot sooner ! For me, I had to:
learn about the nature of addiction, how crafty the voice in your head, the addiction voice, can be.
Keep a list of reasons why I want to be sober handy . Conversely, a list of all the things that suffer when I drink.
Read a lot of material and listen to podcasts to change my mindset around alcohol. It is not my friend. It is a socially sanctioned powerfully addictive substance. It wreaked havoc with my mental and physical health.
Journal.
Meditate.
Join a community of people who understand and are dealing with addictions too. TS became that community for me. I visit every day. In the beginning of my journey, whenever I was struggling, I came to TS. Always open, 24/7.
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There’s a thread on stages of recovery, check it out.
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I was on the fence until I had a DUI accident putting my job at risk if I didn’t seek help. Thankfully, I didn’t kill anyone and was basically forced into sobriety. It was the motivation I needed. The “yets” were starting to happen and I had to stop before losing everything. AA has been life changing for me.
Sounds like you’ve had your share of consequences too. Maybe reread your original post to get some motivation.
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What @Dazercat said!
I am 114 days Sober and haven’t had one single regret.
I know there were thousands when drinking, and none while sober. Not sure there could be a better reason.
You’ve posted some of your regrets in other posts, think it through all the way.
Wishing you the best!
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