I only made it a week since my last relapse in drinking. I’m so disappointed in myself, I just want to be healthy. I don’t want stress to overwhelm me anymore and I feel like I’m falling back when I just want to move forward.
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Maybe try a meeting might help wish you well
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What are you willing to do to change that? Medication, inpatient or outpatient rehab, AA or a similar group program? What are the circumstances of your life that you can change? What are the attitudes and thoughts about drinking inside you that you can change?
Constant failure is draining, and for me led to the conscious decision to just drink and see what happens. I do not recommend this as a way of dealing with alcoholism. What happened for me was another arrest for DUI, but it did finally start me on the path to recovery. What could have happened was killing myself or someone else with the lethal weapon of an automobile operated by someone completely out of control.
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Just an observation.
You’ve joined this nearly four years ago, this is the first time you’ve posted anything.
Have you considered checking in here daily? Reading? Listening to podcasts. Going to meetings? Actually working towards sobriety or have you just sorta wished to be sober?
Whats your plan? What can/ do you do differently this time so that another 4 years doesnt slip by? I’ve slipped by quite some years myself from the first time I wanted to be sober to when I actually started working hard for it.
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I did originally start 4 years ago, and I’ve had some set backs and now that I am starting over I plan on checking in daily.
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Relapsing over and over again is crushing to the spirit. It IS super stressful, and it DOES feel like ‘one step forward, a hundred and twenty five steps back’…
I’m so glad that you decided to be part of this community again. I truly believe it can help you, staying in regular contact with like minded individuals.
I’m new here, and I have experienced incredible support. And, I know you will too.
When you are doing well, check in with us. When you are doing poorly, check in. When you overcome a temptation, and when you relapse… keep checking in.
*Congratulations on the week!
**And, congratulations for showing up here again after relapse… that’s great stuff!
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Don’t be dissapointed in yourself. Theres no shame in failure, only in not trying. You dont sound like someone whos throwing in the towel. Im getting the impression that you’ve relapsed, realised that what you were doing wasn’t working and are now looking for help, which takes bravery. Alcohol is probably the toughest one to crack. I’ve seen it bring down the mightiest of people. Don’t be ashamed if it takes some time to get things right. Learn, build protocols, systems, and support. Just please dont give up.
Do you have any ‘crisis protocols’ or ‘break glass’ systems in place may I ask?
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Hey Laura
Welcome back! I know I’ve felt like you many times and staying here and getting to know this community has been a key part of never having to feel like that again for me. I hope you stick around and join us
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No I don’t have any protocols or break glass type of things in place. Right now my mom has been a huge support and if I can call her if I need to get through a difficult moment.
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Of course if you have someone to lean on like your mother and its working for you then thats amazing.
This community has already been super helpful and supportive for me.
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Welcome back @Lauraj827 
Check out this threat, make a plan, stick to it no matter what
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Hey there! I also relapsed 4 days ago.
Maybe we should try not to pressure so much… i also want to be alcohol free and healthy NOW 
I WANT to be sober for years now and never drink again. I wish it would be that easy.
You did it one week or much longer before…the willpower is here, we just have to use it right.
Lets try again until it works and not give up. 
every day sober is a win!
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This stood out to me; it’s a great point about using our willpower right…
Normally, we use willpower to just fight against the urge to act out with our ‘drug of choice’ (DOC). That actually does not work in the beginning stages of recovery (because we’re addicted).
But, we can use our willpower in another way that works: We use it to ‘make ourselves’ do those things that will help us to put up barriers to acting out –
Calling an ally or coming here BEFORE we act out (Not just after)…
Literally getting up from wherever we are and going for a walk or a drink of water…
Counting to a high number slowly, while breathing calming and letting our mind get on another track, etc.
*For me, once I was triggered, I wasn’t gonna fight the urges successfully. My willpower was not sufficient. I was eventually gonna just give in.
**But, just this past couple weeks, I’ve been putting effort into doing the things that will help me succeed (even though my mind didn’t want me to)… this has been a much better use of my willpower.
I guess, instead of trying to avoid something, we should be trying to do something different instead.
By the way, you’re four days into a new path right now; that’s fantastic. Four days is a real win.
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Hey Laura, I have so been there. I have an addiction counsellor that I meet with 1 on 1 which is so beneficial. There are virtual recovery, addiction groups out there such as SMART , CAPSA, AA has a meeting for women that runs 24/7 globally. Not sure if you have tried any of these, but may be worth the time for you? I wish you all the best and keep trying, don’t give up.
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I have relapsed a lot too. I am back on day one again. Its kind of scary. Keep checking in here. This place has helped me a lot in the past. I just rejoined today to start over AGAIN. I have had a really rough year and used alcohol to cope. I want to get back on the right track. Let us know how it’s going and what you do to stay sober today. Lots of good people here.
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Welcome back Daphne, good to see you back.
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Welcome back @Daphne
Sending you good vibes 
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Welcome back, Daphne!
Heyy ethan 
Writting why i wanted to relaps be4 it happened kept me sober and continues to.
Writting it here for everyone to see helps me hear what i need to hear and get the advice and support i need. Always viset here be4 a relaps ALWAYS
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I’ve been journaling my thoughts and at night I’m drinking herbal tea and a way to relax. So far its really been helping.
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