I am a binge drinker. I am not physically addicted, as in I don’t go through withdrawals without alcohol but i am definitely emotionally addicted. Once I have a drink, I can’t stop. I drink until I’m black out drunk and go to sleep… then spend the next day feeling so awful.
When every emotion you feel is a trigger to drink, what do you do to distract yourself?
Whether I’m sad, upset, had a long day at work… or even if I get a 95% on an exam and want to celebrate. Every emotion needs a shot and that always follows up with night of binge drinking.
I need help with changing my mindset… any tips?
I’m sick of feeling like crap, and sick of wasting my energy on this
Welcome! Glad you’re here. Stick around, read lots. So much helpful info here. Plus fun stuff to distract you!
Here’s a great thread that might interest you
I was binge drinker as well, so I hear you. If it is your emotions that you are drinking at, maybe try some therapy to discuss how better to feel your emotions. Thing is, emotions won’t kill us, even if it feels that way sometimes. They come, they go, as long as we allow them to flow thru us and not get stuck inside.
Perhaps changing your mindset to…emotions flow easily thru me…I am safe in this moment.
Breathing exercises, combined with some meditation may also be useful to you. Some authors I like…Tara Brach, Pema Chodrun, Thich Nhat Hahn, The Dalai Lama.
Another helpful tip…when feeling anxious or ready to drink…take a walk or run or bicycle…work your body somehow.
We can and do change our patterns of behavior, it just takes finding what works for you.
I was also a binge drinker, to start, but ended up transitioning to longer periods of everyday drinking. I also am a highly emotional person, always have been, and can see now that I was drinking to dull emotional distress. It’s good that you’re self aware and taking steps to learn how you can change your patterns. For me, it also began with taking an honest look at myself. I knew I didn’t want to live this way anymore, but wasn’t sure what the alternative was or how to begin to make changes. Like @SassyRocks said, therapy helps to understand what the emotions are, possibly where they are stemming from, and alternative ways to cope with emotional distress. Distraction is a great tool, especially if it is healthy distraction. I spent a TON of time reading on this forum whenever I had an urge (often still do) and gained perspectives from what other people wrote. I walked when I could, went out to get fresh air and drank a ton of sparkling water as a replacement for alcohol (also still do that!). I have accountability buddies, or people I can text or call who know what I am going through and just check in with them and chat about whatever. It really helped to be honest about my problem with alcohol and even if we never mention it in conversation I know they really support me and I can bring up that I have an urge if I need to. I think the most helpful tool for me has been journaling. When I have what feels like a strong emotional response and feel like I just need to act on it (which in the past would have been to get obliterated, even if I thought it was going to be just one drink), I stop whatever I’m doing and take pen to paper. Write “stream of consciousness” whatever is in my mind. That has really been important to me because I can go back and read through it when my mind has calmed down and start to see some patterns there.
I’m sorry if this has been a brain dump on you, but I really feel where you’re coming from. Keep reaching out is key. Come on here and start a thread if you’re feeling an urge and need to talk it out. And try new things! Do whatever it takes. You absolutely have the power to make change in your life. I believe you can!
I have considered making my upstairs a little yoga area… meditation has been an interest of mine for a long time. Maybe I should act upon it now!! Thank you so much
Good for you reaching out! You’re way ahead already by being aware of what you DON’T want. I finally had to look at how much money I was spending as well as how much time I was wasting feeling like crap. @RosaCanDo has great suggestions. I was a binge drinker (when I was young) until I wasn’t. I drank AT everything and then I ended drinking because I had formed a habit. Then I couldn’t get out of the vicious cycle. 45 years later, I’m just starting over again. At one point I had 10 years alcohol free. I learned so much about my emotional drinking. It’s hard work but dig deep. You can do it!!!
That’s exactly how I feel! I drink at every function, I drink on my bad days, on my good days- doesn’t matter. And when I do drink, I way over do it. Thank you so much for the response!
It is absolutely about changing mindset, I found this forum so helpful with that. When I joined I read a lot and realised how much I had in common with ‘real addicts’ - and how much the things that helped them would also help me. So my best advice is to read, read and read some more! @Salty shared a link to a good collection to get started with, if I do say so myself
I also added a ‘binge drinking’ tag to your post, if you click it you will see others. Some of them are older but there is some really useful info there.
There’s some good stuff available on youtube. The truth about alcohol from the BBC is a good one.
There’s another documentary that follows 3 alcoholics at the different stages, one being the binge drinker, I believe its called Risky Drinking by HBO.
These will change your relationship with alcohol for sure!
This is me to a T!! I’m a weekend binge drinker and I drink and don’t stop untill Im black out drunk. This happed this past weekend and I’m super embarrassed, got in a fight and not sure how I made it back to my hotel. I have had HORRIBLE anxiety and have been staying home since Sunday night. I’m like 3 days sober and trying to figure out how to stay sober. I have recently started listening to this church app called family church and got in touch with a pastor from there and is sending me a book. Hope you feel better soon!
I’m a binge drinker too. Big time.
Was for the last 20 years or so. I would drink only on weekends but then when work was slow/scarce, it would be nightly. And always until I blacked out.
I’m just over 50 days without alcohol, and I also get the emotional drinking thing too. If I’m sad, angry, irritated, happy, bored…I just want to drink.
It hasn’t been easy, but I’ve been distracting myself with other things like focusing on improving my health and making sure I take my vitamins, drink plenty of water and move my body somewhat. I know they sound like the same old things people say to do when you get sober, but they actually work. And I remind myself how far I’ve come and how much better I feel without the binge hang over.
I’m definitely an emotional binge drinker, there was no such thing as left over drinks, I’d drink til they were all gone or I’d passed out, sometimes I’d find a sneaky drink in the fridge the next morning but if I’d seen it I would have drank it the night before. But I wasn’t always like that, I don’t know at what point things changed for me and my drinking escalated but I felt like I was living in party mode all the time. I’m not sure how to change your mindset I always tried so hard not to drink every can I bought I’d tell myself I’ll only have 2 that turned into 6 cans and me passing out. I do feel it’s a deep issue inside us that has nothing to do with alcohol, unresolved issues from our past that were never dealt with properly. My whole life has been nothing but sadness and grief so I drank to make myself feel better. And for the above reason I don’t think I could ever be a social drinker, I just need to stop.
