Being the solo non-drinker at a gathering is not a lot of fun in my experience so far. There are the positives, of course - being less likely to say or do something stupid, being able to drive home after, not having a hangover in the morning, etc. But, overall, the events themselves are kinda boring and lonely. Mostly I just feel invisible. Always the most reserved and quiet one, sober or not, I am definitely all but ignored now. All the drinkers are so animated and talking constantly, loudly, interrupting each other, I realize I canāt get a word in edgewise and swiftly just stop trying. I canāt help but feel that the others think Iām uptight and boring and that they think Iām judging them whilst I am simultaneously believing that they are judging me. I hate that I feel threatened by the other women there, but they seem happy, witty and charming, while I may as well camouflage myself into the background. Iām not really having an urge to join in or craving the drink or anything, Iām just disappointed. I hope it gets better one day.
Iām sorry you are feeling disappointed. Are these gatherings you have to go to? If so, sometimes I think we need to find ourselves again. And WHO CARES if theyāre judging youā¦poo on them. You are amazing and confident because you kick ass when you need to 
When I hung out with my sister-in-laws, they were doing that very same thing. I sat with my bottled water and feltā¦envy, frustration, aloof. But then I found out later that my nieces were so upset with the ongoing drinking issues. They hate it when their moms drink. They might as well forget having a mom that evening. Then I thoughtā¦sometimes things arenāt always as they appear. Drinking is a very selfish thing, at the end of the day. In the long run, you are probably the one who is going to āwin.ā Oh, and also, youāre never aloneā¦we are always in your pocket
In my experience, when drinking, I was just more animated and didnāt notice others trying to get a word in over me! I also didnāt notice when ignored and half the time half the conversation was lost after a few.
But I also agree and if you are not comfortable dont go until you can feel confident that you can particpateā¦it really is all about our own perceptions and insecuritiesā¦drunk people dont careš. I found the more sober I was the more intelligent things I came up with to talk aboutā¦just needed some sober peeps to talk with!
i recently went on vacation and went along with everyone for drinks one evening. after 4 hours i was ready to loose my mind and my stomach, as i ate all the crap on the menu. these people werenāt even boisterous or drunkenly stumbling around conversation, but i realized that if i do go out with people who are strictly drinking, i can only hang for an hour or so. completely different if its a meal out and drinks are just add ons for people, as food and conversation is the focus.
Ugh. Donāt go. Maybe thatās easier said than done but Iād rather be alone at home than alone in a crowd.
Being alone Is not a lonely thing once you begin to enjoy your own company. As for you worry what there thinking about you, its not important! What other people think of you is none of your business as the old saying goes. Its also best you arnt around anyone that is drinking either. Start to do things on your own , so you begin to enjoy your own company 
