Welcome! Getting to one month is something to be really proud of. I see sadness and regret in some of what you wrote…I think some regret is good. For me, now that I’ve been sober long enough to see things more clearly, that regret helps remind me why I cannot go back to how I was living. But. We also have to be able to move on: forgive yourself, but don’t forget. The loneliness and the lack of motivation will improve as your mind and body heal–have you checked out What’s YOUR plan? Your body and brain need time to heal. It’ll happen, I promise. Things will get better.
I’m so glad you’re here. 