Christmas eve is a happy time for many, but to me it is the anniversary of my Dad’s death.
I tend to get emotional, it was a sudden event and i was a senior in high school.
It ruined my year & is possibly the reason i started to abuse substances & alcohol due to the people i was hanging out with at the time.
I finally moved away with a new job and got away from the substances-only to run away to the bottle and the new group of people who drink a lot.
I might cry today, like i usually do, or i might not - don’t know. I try to remember the good times & will do it today without " toasting" my dad and going down the pity party road crying and having another hungover Christmas.
All of my grandparents have passed with in the two weeks surrounding Christmas & New Years. It is not usually a time for happy memories, & I detest Christmas Music… I try not to be a scrooge for my family, but it’s hard.
I hope everyone has a wonderful holiday, but also know that it is a tough time of year for many.
Hugs my friend. Hoping that good memories out way the bad. I got on here just now because I was starting to cave a little. All these feelings really suck sometimes. Guess it’s time for me to actually feel them and work it out. Merry Christmas
God Bless your heart. I am sure I’d be crying every Christmas Eve and day for the rest of my life. And that would be a really good thing. I pray you can have some peace this Christmas. So good for you being sober. You’re worth so much more than the hell of being wasted and recovering every Christmas. The new you can thrive.
My heart goes out to you. I lost 6 people in December one of which was my nephew on Christmas Eve. I know it’s extremely difficult but I know they’re all looking down from the Spirit World wishing for happiness within us.
Thoughts and prayers are with you during this difficult time
I’m sorry it’s so hard for you, @Beachy. I guess your Dad and grandparents would be ever so proud of what you have achieved. I pray for serenity for you today, and joy in remembering them.
Just try to remember that any emotions that you might naturally feel about this time of year due to memories or triggers, those emotions are valid, and it is okay for you to feel sad, even if sadness may not pleasant or desired. Your sadness is evidence that you loved him. How can that be wrong?
You are already doing a good and positive thing by acknowledging those emotions and choosing to express them without drinking or using. Just know that!
Its also my mums death anniversary. On the 24th December. Xmas eve. Our folks made sure we knew how to remember them properly right passing on a holiday thats impossible to forget
Understand completely! I had a controlling manipulating ex as well… You are so much better off without them! But it took me a long time to realize that and break away.
It’s hard to not remember the bad stuff. I still don’t understand that past with rose glasses thing. I have a hard time turning bad memories into favorable ones. The holidays are always super depressing & rather forced tradition to me - i don’t understand the hype - but it is what it is. It makes the other people around me happy, so i try for them.
Here’s to honoring the past for making us stronger, but working on a brighter future!
Take care today & treat yourself!
Take care, y’all.
I have a serious family issue right now, too. Unrelated to that, my mentally abusive brother decided not to go to Mom’s home for Christmas Eve. It was one of the best holiday I’ve had with her since he ramped up his harassment a few years ago.
Only a bunch of alcoholics would be able to support each other to acknowledge negative feelings as honest and real.
This is where I belong.
Thank you for sharing. You have helped me.
my father passed dec 29, so it’s a hard holiday time for me too. christmas has never been the same. but life keeps on ticking by with or without me so i try to put my best attitude forward. merry chrustmas!
