Welp I made it farther than I thought but it’s almost 11pm I have my 1 year old with me and the mother of my child said we were gonna start taking steps to better our relationship and be better for each other we even looked into counseling today she told me she left a voicemail it made me happy… just a few hours ago I found out she ditched me and our son for the night so she can be with another man. The reason I’m upset and struggling rn is because I had her on the phone and I can hear someone in the background my baby even wanted to FaceTime his mother but she was scared to so she turned her phone off immediately. How do you say “lets work on trust, let’s better our relationship for our family” and then sleep with another man the day after. In my head I know a drink would settle my nerves but I genuinely don’t want to drink I can’t! I even have my sleeping son next to me as my heart pounds waiting for a response back from her. I feel like this is gonna be a long night ):
To add on
I even told her I’m going onto day 3 of sobriety and she didn’t even seemed like she cared than I got it out of her that she was being dishonest.
Damn brother I can only imagine how painful that’s gotta be for you. I admire your resilience to stay sober. It’s a great idea because drinking will just compound the issue. The best thing you can do for your son and yourself is to stay sober and work on yourself. If she’s choosing that route for her life let her, as tough as that may be, you can only control your actions. You will get through this and you will be better for it.
That all sounds terrible. But don’t allow it to inpact your sobriety. (congrats on the three days ). Whether you work on your relationship, or it is over and you need to move on, you need your sobriety to work out and move towards what is best for you and your son. Sending strength (and some sleep)
Ah Gabe im so very sorry. It is a tough situation for sure. You should be proud that you are facing it sober. Drinking will not help rhe situation any.
Keep working on your sobriety. Keep showing up for yourself. You will become healthier and stronger and a more present parent for your son. Like Hakeem said - you can only be responsible for your own actions.
You are making great positive strides. Do not let her be the reason you falter. You deserve live and happiness.
Grateful you are here with us. Way to go with 3 days of sobriety!!!
Thank you Hakeem it’s a cruel world and some people are even more cruel. I’m gonna do better for my son and I and be the bigger person in this scenario. I just hate that it’s so dang late and I just wanna talk to someone
Hey Gabe. Congratulations on 3 days! You’re going through the hardest time right now, so your strength here is seriously impressive.
Gabe, please stop telling yourself that a drink will help in any way. Have you felt that people are telling you things that you want to hear, making false promises, when really the actions they take only hurt you? That’s what alcohol addiction does. It promises you better, then leaves you in a much worse place. Do you have anyone that you can talk to, on here or otherwise? Or even a journal of any kind, if writing helps, to focus on the future that YOU want to see yourself in, not one where the consequences of others behaviour can put you. Do you dream of being somewhere else? Of having a dream day that feels out of reach? You can tell me here if you like. I’m happy to chat. Please remember to focus on the days ahead that will make you happy. The days that you choose. I really hope you’re ok.
Thank you Jazzy all of your guys words help so much!
Horrible struggle. I had similar situation and toughts when my wife left me with my two sons. I tought that i will brake apart. Especially I didnt know if she have some one and if she will let me see my kids. I wasn’t sober back then. My head was crating horrible visions of future. But i started to get sober and realised i have to be at least fair and ok. On my side. Only by showing that I care and want to get things better was keeping me up. It wasn’t easy but i managed to start therapy and going to aa and na meetings. Got a lot of support from other addicts and managed to back on track. I wrote this in other topic that after some time my wife came back to me and we srtarted to rebuilt our familly. I am 4,5 year sober now. I really know how you feel and only thing i can say worked for me was taking responsibility of myself and treating sobriety as the most important thing without it evrything colapses for me. Checked this many times. Keep up and take care.
How are you doing Gabe? Hope you wete able to give your heart some rest and get a decent nights sleep
@Gabemascorro that is just plain sad and awful I am so sorry you’re going thru that. when i was on day 3 (last week!!) i had a similar trigger about my child’s father (my son is also 1!) - the feeling of being disrespected and just so unaligned with your co-parent is extremely difficult, and i understand. i also posted my challenges with it here last week and got similar feedback - the idea that struck me the most is that a drink will make things worse. when we get to a point where we actually want to grow and create a better life, alcohol is really no longer an option. i hope you got some rest and that you’re feeling stronger today. you are already doing something so powerful by working on sobriety and your son has an awesome role model! keep up the awesome work. i’m with you! we all are!
Oh man. I can empathize with you big time!! I’m closing out day 16 sober and the last 5 days have been brutal.
I divorced years ago and started a new family but it’s not the same. My ex could care less about how I feel or what I want…and to think of all the time and mental bandwith I’ve wasted hoping.
Unfortunately you will suffer until you can wrap your head around rational thought. My advice (even though it sounds like the opposite of what you feel compelled to do) is to play it cool, stop texting and calling her…just respond to her calls and texts in a professional way and focus on yourself and that baby.
Seems impossible right now, but this to shall pass. Will say a prayer for you.
Hey brother, Did you make it through the night sober?
I did Hakeem I made it through the night but couldn’t sleep until like 5am mother of my child just picked him up last night was a struggle for sure
Hey jazzy I made it but got little sleep I’m up early now to deal with the mother of my child situation got my mind straight late before I passed out and I feel better this morning just a little tired
Thank you it was a tough night mentally and emotionally I made it through just mate that something so low and shallow can happen like that when she picked our baby up this morning she didn’t even look like she cared
Tired is ok and of course understandable. Very grateful that you managed another day / night sober. You should be super proud.
Glad you are feeling better today. ODAAT my friend - remember we are here for you - with you — so lean on us if you need. I do hope you have a wonderful day
Thanks man it definitely was a stressful situation I had a moment of frustration and thought I’d break but didn’t I seen my son sleeping peacefully and the only thing I can think of is stay strong for him do it for him so I laid my head down and stayed there just looking at him and thinking of all the good sure the situation that was happening popped in my head too now and then but my son definitely kept me level headed also my family and my fellow community here thank you all for having my back more than most people!
Hello Gabe - just checking in to see how you are doing?
I’m amazing Jazzy thank you so much for checking in!! Last night was a better night and today will be an even better day! Day 3 no alcohol ready to keep going! I found out my ex/mother of our baby is posting not so cool things about me on social media after all the recent mess when down. I didn’t let it bother me though I’m starting to get past all that and trying to move on for a better future!