Why o why do I do this sh#t ,28hrsband bam I’m off down the road,tbh I wasn’t even feeling ill,I’ve been an addict for so long I know nothing else.
I’m pathectic,weak minded bullshit I no deep down I could blow the roof off my addiction .I think
Hi love, so sorry to hear you are struggling. Do you have any support or a sober network currently? You are not pathetic or weak, you have an addiction and very few of us can beat this alone. Getting help really assists us in changing things when we are ready. Hope you find what you need to beat this my dear!
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Are there any na meetings near to you. Even if it’s something you may not fancy or think would help if you were to go and listen without sharing you will find other people who have been in the exact same situation, is just a thought I’m not trying to force it down your throat. I havn’t used heroin for three weeks now as of today that’s without na but I am going to attend very soon as I know I can’t do it alone. Your not weak by the way 
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I’m so sorry your feeling like this, sounds like a meeting would be very useful like pants said. Most of us have been where you are and felt those feelings. If you hang out here for a while you will see that people can and do get sober and stay sober. There is a light at the end of the tunnel and everyone here is rooting for you to find it 
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Our disease of addiction is a symptom. Working on everything in your life and identifying those issues is what has helped myself. Definitely talking better about myself helped. I’m sorry to hear about your relapse. Idk how many times I’ve relapse, I’m starting to think I never actually was in recovery I relapsed so often. I know forever I hated myself. Hated everything about my life, thought the only way to escape my pain was through heroin. I simply never wanted to feel. Never wanted to be accountable for my actions and reality. If we don’t like ourselves, putting poison into our bodies comes easy.
Go to a meeting, or stay on here if there’s no meetings.
Treat yourself better.
Talk to whoever about what your feeling, lean on someone. Reaching out here is a great start. You will find numerous people that will care to reach out and always feel free to direct message.
I understand your struggle, but your not weak minded, your not pathetic. Your an addict just learning to become sober.
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Just try and get to the point where you can stop after one sip or something. Feel the urge? Take the keys to your car and go for a long drive.
Thank you all so much for your kind wise words ,I will never give up the fight with my addiction even though the older I get the more it’s taken its toll on me physically and emotionally.ilbkeep reaching on .good night and and with this dark night I know will come the light of another day and another opportunity.xxxxxbig live my fellow addicts.xx
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Try to look at your relapses and try to learn from it. I had my share of relapses too, most of us had a couple. But when you learn you can avoid the next one. Learn and change your way of coping things.
Hang in there! 
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Go to AA, and find a therapist.
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