I have a tendency to do the opposite of what I KNOW is going to help me stay sober. Does anyone else have this problem and how do we fix it? Going to church consistently, working programs, staying away from anything and everything that has a drink in the name (whiskey chicken, rosé flavored energy drinks, etc) those all help me stay sober and not even mess with the thought of using. Yet every now and then, it never fails, I say screw it and do the complete opposite. I skip church, I buy the wine named drinks, stop doing everything that keeps me sane. Then I crash mentally and wonder why I’m there.
Help?
I have a list of accessory behaviors to my DOC. So I know if I start doing x, y or z, I need to pump the brakes. It wouldn’t count as a relapse, but if I find myself doing those accessory behaviors I need to work my program a little harder, practice being present to my urges, and be a little extra gentle with myself. Maybe make a list of the things you listed in your post and try to view them as warning signs?
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Oh im doing this love this idea!!
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Congratulations, that makes you an alcoholic. Wonderful isnt it? For me, my program (AA) is what helps. As soon as I feel, think, hint at doing what you posted I go to a meeting, or pick up the phone and talk to someone. In the beginning, I got on here often and read, it helped as a reminder of what I needed to do.
The other thing, routine…I set up a routine that i forced myself to follow. It really helped when I wanted to do something destructive.
The last thing…those “screw it” thoughts, i treated as parasite…when I got those thoughts, i litterally would tell them to “fuck off”. One time I was in the beer aisle…and i said it out loud…buy did I get strange looks…but it worked for me.
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So true! Something I say to myself on a regular basis.
Nothing and no one is worth your sobriety. Nice Allen, I don’t care what people think. This is my journey.
We do what’s best for us 
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See, another big problem of mine is that even though I recognize these all as accessory behaviors like you said, when I’m in that mind set I don’t want to fix it. Not sure if this makes sense. But when I’m in the thick of it, working programs, talking to friends, all of that I absolutely don’t wanna do and can’t talk myself into doing. It takes a week or so before I finally give in and come out of it. I don’t understand it at all!!
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If drunk is normal, I want to be the weirdest guy in the world. If my weirdness makes someone uncomfortable so be it.
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What’s your action-plan? It’s not enough to see the guardrails…what do you do to avoid hitting them? Do you call an accountability partner, go to a meeting, or come on here and say “guys, feeling a drink coming on. Talk me down?”
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