Man- it been 131 days sober for me, try to continue my struggle of wanting out reach to friends and family. None of them respond to my text or any of social media. I been try since Jan 1, I feel really neglect by them. I just don’t know what else to do anymore. I deal with my struggle to stay on this earth while I know I need them be neutral about it without judge, or takes sides from my ex wife who can be exaggerating about what happen between her and me. It’s does really make my life hard and struggle out reach to friends who I thought I can depend on. It’s start with them block me, ignore me, believe false informations, and I don’t even say anything to anyone especially my therapist. I just don’t know what I suppose do anymore.
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First, congrats for staying strong for 131 days! That is definitely something to be proud of. Second, some people may not respond right away because they may have been hurt by you before you were sober. They may be afraid to be hurt again or, they may not know what to say or how to act. It was very awkward for me to try to reach out to people who I knew that I really hurt. But the hardest part was trying to defend myself when my other so-called friends would put me down or try to convince others not to trust my sobriety. It’s hard to be alone through this. It’s even harder when you feel as if you have been cast out from your circle of friends and family. And then add a pissed off ex into the picture and oh boy! Maybe she feels hurt and might be resentful that you are now sober after the relationship ended. I had an ex once who I left because of his cocaine addiction. He went to rehab about a year after we split up and stayed clean. He met someone else, got married right away and bought a house… the whole nine yards. I was so hurt, I was so angry…all I could think to myself was that I must not have been that important to him or he would have done all this then. Gosh was I sooooo wrong. Took me to get to where I am today with my own war against my DOC to understand it was never EVER about me, he had to do it for himself. Have you tried talking to your ex about your sobriety? Sounds like she is exaggerating things that happened in your relationship… maybe to turn people away from you so they will side with her? If it is easier, maybe write her a letter?
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@Caite1025 Hi- thank you for responding and hear me out. What you typing everything you said is make sense to me. I maybe need to step back and leave them alone. It will be hard for me. I just wanted them to know it wasn’t myself. I did seek for help. I learn hard way, I start to learn who I am is hardest… to love the new me as ABI (after brain injury) it’s so new and they hate it, it hurt me so much but I willing to learn new tools and how to learn to be ok with it and love it. I often read in Facebook group page that most women left men because of Abi which I’m one of them… it’s so torn me knowing I’m not only one I thought I was only one in this world have that problem turnout it wasn’t… I often now think women would not want me because of my ABI… I never feel this so alone and I never know how to communicate differently. I miss old me, I struggle to get old me back… since I’m sober and I’m work on it but with ABI does change my personality and can’t rewind it. It hurt me so much. I guess no one would understand it unless someone who have ABI WOULD UNDERSTAND IT. With people as normal wouldn’t understand because not have that experience or not willing to look at point of view or whatever with NOT… it’s hard to find someone who willing to make efforts to understand… is hard to find someone… I’m all alone through… it’s hard to find someone with addict with abi plus deaf. I guess I have to leave them alone.
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