Days turn into weeks, some days are easy some aren’t. The harder days the more i want to give in and just pick up a bottle or just get fucked up on drugs. Been having few rough days after work just draining my positive vibes. Think about giving in a lot lately maybe i should just give in take some weight off my shoulders
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No, giving in will add weight. Roll the tape on that and you know where it goes: one, then another, then another, then the next day, shame, regret. It’s the same pattern every time. And that “addict brain” is playing games with you, making you think you’re entitled to drink & you can’t or shouldn’t handle life sober.
What’s got you down? Maybe sharing about it here will help.
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To be honest dude work it drains me the fuck out.
I build houses being a female i have to work twice as harder and carry heavy shit. Proving to men i can keep up
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Giving up is just the addict brain talking… you’re right it is hard, staying abstinent, but you know what’s harder than that??? Being a fucking raging addict. You quit for a reason and im sure the reason wasn’t because it was so great. Stay strong for today… one day at a time, only worry about today.
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Prove to them, or prove to yourself? 
I know how it feels though, it’s tough having the work-eat-sleep-work-eat-sleep routine. You just wanna get out of it cause you’re bored! It’s pretty tiring too, all that physical labour. There’s another thing that sucks when hungover 
Is anything specific happening at work that’s been getting you down? Don’t have to share if you don’t want to here, I understand - it’s just I know sometimes coworkers can be a pain and that can be hard, especially now.
I’ve been doing a lot of virtual coffees and virtual brunches with friends. Some friends from school, some from my recovery home group. That has been nice, something to look forward to on the weekends. Also, cooking!
You also had some really cool photos in some previous posts of yours, I remember - maybe share some of that vibrant scenery here:
Dude i hiking did keep my mind off a lot. And nah nothing spefic happened to upset me am just tired of sleep,eat and work. Life has become boring to me work just physically draining me. Come in drunk just to pass time go to sleep drunk asf. Lately i been noticing am dreaming and slightly remembering them.
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Yeah i did and i constanly write them down to remind myself why. But it feels like even that is draging me down. Constaly remembering
I get it that shit gets boring, i get that a past can be heavy but i also know that picking up isn’t gonna make any of it better. Hold strong just for today. Dont worry about tomorrow, you’ve come far.
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Yeah addiction dreams are common. As long as alcohol is not a problem in your waking life the dreams pass eventually.
Boredom also eventually passes. There are a lot of good things to do - walking meditation, listening to audiobooks, a lot of ways to pass the time - you have a whole world of good things you can do. Choose one of them and share it with us here! I’d love to hear about what’s keeping your brain ticking 
Today weighs heavly and keeping postive yes am trying to see a bright side. A strom can’t last just sometimes it feels better to sit in it
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What do you mean about addict dreams are common please explain cause shit you not in the pass 10 years of my life i never dreamed until currently
Dreaming is one of those mysterious things - who knows where they come from - but a lot of addicts in recovery (from substances or behaviours) notice dreams more, especially during their early recovery. Maybe it’s because we’re not sinking into our addictions to get to sleep or numb out, maybe it’s because our brains are stimulated more so they’re dreaming more. Who knows? There was actually a thread about it recently:
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I’ve been in a funk myself lately, maybe the lockdown shit, maybe it’s from being laid off, maybe it’s just from uncertainty of pretty much everything.
I know for me personally escaping this shit sounds wonderful, I definitely have another drunk left in me, problem is I doubt i have another recovery in me.
I also know that it’s okay to have a bad day, week, or, month, it will pass. I also know that the fact i want to escape with drinking means i have work to do on myself. So that’s what i do, i have conversations with myself trying to make heads and tails of this fucked up brain of mine.
Point is these things you’re feeling are normal… stay strong!
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You mentioned in some earlier threads you like music. Are you a player, or you more love to listen? What kinds of genres do you like?