in 4 hours i will complete day 8 off the heroin … im happy im doing this and starting the long journey … but what is out there once the drug is not there ? right now all i want to do is staying at home … under my blanket … thinking about how life should have been … i have been in pain for a long time now … a LONG time of depression … im very thirsty for a moment of relief without using the drug … there is no NA meeting anywhere close … cold chills almost made it impossible to get out of the bed … everything i was doing i used to do with heroin now i have no 1% of the interest i used to have in them … i accept now that heroin is more pschycotic drug than physical …here in Egypt … the dealers are those wise arabian men with loads of weapons you see in the movies … and a wise DEALER once said " this drug is going to make you super happy … but there is a price you are going to pay once you are off it " i have been happier than anyone i ever knew … now … when i hear my family outside my room laughing … i envy them … i envy every human being i know … the can work … laugh … socialize … and im here … alone … seriously guys if im not going to be a better person and a real fighter after this passes … i will better die … im really sorry for the negative vibes … i had to get them out … but somebody please promise me that we are not fighting addiction just to be the old us only without drugs … tell me what am i paying for now ?
Although it seems a hard thing to say this now, I guess you’re paying ‘the price’ now that will allow you, in the future, to walk outside and join your family, and join in with their laughter, without this crippling drug controlling everything you do. You’re doing great! Keep going.
I’ve been going through the same mental struggle lately and then I found this quote. We’re meant to really live, not just be alive. And the experience, strength, and hope that we have gone through with our addictions will be able to help others…
Hello my friend, I’m am not a therapist and I’m not the type to sugar coat things. It sounds like there is some deep rooted issues going on… we all have them, but we deal with them differently. I also suffer from depression and that’s one of the reasons I became an alcoholic. I didn’t like me so I drank until i didn’t care about anything. Now that I’m sober, it’s scary… this is out of my comfort zone. My advice to you is to find support and to talk about what you’re going through, what you went through, and anything else you want to get off your chest. There is a better life after sobriety, but we have to do the work also… happiness isn’t going to come knocking on our door… we have to get up, put on our best shoes and go get it ourselves. I believe you can do it because I am proof that it’s possible. Be kind to yourself, be patient with yourself and most importantly LOVE yourself because you’re a great person.
yeah i have to pay to be happy again … but i dont think that happiness will just come to me here under my blanket and knock knock … i have to do something … and am very weak now to do anything …
maybe because i hit the zero ground now … i know that if i stay at home doing nothing is not going to make any difference … but whenever i think what to do i dont know … friends ? good ones are gone … people may be tolerant with alcoholics … but they are not to heroin addicts … work ? it seems like the best solution for now but i have to adjust my habits first … cant go from total dormancy to work … but u know … u gave me hope that there are real fighters out there
Just remember too, you are only on day 8. You are only just really starting your recovery.
Stay strong. This will all pass.
thats one good quote to follow
I hope you stay strong! I was really depressed when I initially stopped drinking (though alcohol is a depressant). About 2 weeks in I started feeling happier. I will admit it is hard for me knowing that I have/will lose all lot of my friends because I too, like many, had friends that revolved around partying. At this point I am excited about finding something I like to do. I come on here and feel like I have friends who are going through similar issues and can really open up.
I know you feel unhappy now but there are things to look forward too, life, love, and the pursuit of happiness (have to throw in a cheesy saying/movie title) <3
How you doing, checking in
As they say, this too shall pass.
I know quite a few people that stopped using. I know - from their experience - what the first weeks look like. But the energy, the calm, the peace of mind and the will to take back your life in your own hands will come in time. Take it slow. One step at the time.