People, Places, Things!?!

When it’s tough to be around people, who do you go to?
When there is no place for you to go, what do you do?
When things are heavy, how do you carry on?

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You have to become strong enough to deal with these situations, be the person you need>for you.
Get through things one day at a time, do what you can when you can.

Welcome to the forum :upside_down_face:

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As I take a deep breath in… and exhale, thank you! :rose:

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I can only tell you what’s worked for me and that is:

Support, support, and more support. I went (and regularly go) to meetings, reached (and reach) out to people, asked (and ask) for help (and a phone list), got (and have) a sponsor, work the Steps, took (and take) suggestions, added (and continue to add) tools to my recovery tool kit, broke it down to One Day At A Time (and, sometimes: 5 Minutes At A Time).

If I can do it, You can do it! I was a hopeless, demonic, empty, lonely, dope fiend. Now? 180°. Be kind to yourself.

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For what you asked above is when I talk to my Higher Power (HP). Its always there standing by to help me keep moving forward. I remember that with It, I’m never alone and I can only control myself.
So glad you’re here, friend!

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I’m glad I’m here to! Today was rough had another huge trigger but my hand was held and my head was lifted, for this I’m grateful! Today is day 4 guys! We did it!! :rose:

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For me, learning to be still in both body and mind worked pretty well. I learned that i dont always have to be around people. Being able to walk this world alone (not lonely) helped me out a lot. When things got heavy I learned to rely on people again. Not everone is out to get you. When you find that person…hold on real tight.
Best wishes my friend.

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Are you talking about people who are wanting to enable your addiction or stressful interactions with people in general?

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Honestly, I dont deal with these types of people. I have 3 people in my life who I “lean” on. Sobriety is nearly impossible If your still around people who enable you to use and use themselves. You gotta get rid of all those leaches. Sorry to say it that way but all they do is take and take then take some more. You gotta find people who make you want to be a better version of yourself. It takes time. A lot of time.

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I’m not easily stressed by interactions normally but when dealing with addiction nothing is normal, especially in the beginning. I’m referring more so to the people who are standing in the way that you can’t get away from, I.e family significant others etc.

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I also don’t have friends at all because they all used, but addiction is not just in people whom use, the behavior is in anyone! I’m no better than those people I don’t judge them or put them out, to be strong is my aim because the enemy is everywhere! In any case, when it’s at home it’s just a bit harder so to get opinions on how they’re getting through these moments are helpful to add to my rep!

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And for the record guys, no one even answered any of the questions directly, dig a little deeper, I am a poet, talk to me guys! :rose:I don’t need advice I want to know what you guys do in these cases for real! Chino was the closest though, I appreciate you buddy! Thanks to all of you for your input it helps me get through my days. This app has been a blessing so I’m grateful to all of you!

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I’m not :grin:.

But welcome to the forum, and congratulations on reaching 5 days! The first week is usually the hardest. It was for me.

As for the thread, I’m not sure I fully understand the question. What people? What places? Drinking buddies? Bars? Family members? It’s all a bit vague.

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Welcome to Talking Sober! :wave:

All the answers were direct actually. If you’re not hearing what you want to hear, maybe you’re not asking the right questions, or using the right words. Maybe you’re not articulating your inquiry in a way that speaks to your audience.

What do you mean when you say “I don’t need advice I want to know what you guys do in these cases for real!” What is “real”?

There’s a poetry question for you. Tell me what’s real to you.

:sweat_smile: im definitely nit a poet either lol Im just direct with my answers I dont beat around the bush. I leave the foreplay for somewhere else :joy:.

Its really different for everyone. I was able to cut out family, significant other (for a while). I actually started by going out on my own. Rent an airbnb somewhere to relax. Then I decided I needed time to deal with ME and MY problems. I couldnt help my partner because I was useless in a way. Mostly emotionally numb and angry. Just try to remember that it will all get better. Slowly but surely.

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What’s real is general! People, places and things are all general! It’s simple but if things are easier being difficult for you then I understand why my questions aren’t setting! I don’t think I need to give any personal details and I don’t think I was asking for advice! It’s very real to have open ended questions still be answered in simple ways the first question was simple when it’s tough to be around people (in general), where do you go? What more would anyone need in order to give a real answer to this? Chino did it so I was understood by someone and isn’t that life?! I respect it if you don’t understand I can break it down but let’s start with that first part! Right one thing at a time. I think some may be tryna answer the whole as it were one question but it was 3 different simple questions! It’s all love no matter what my life is already difficult this is not suppose to make things worst for me guys! I appreciate it if you can but it’s ok if you can’t I just felt like adding flavor to the forum, I hope no one got offended! :rose:

Thanks chino, sorry if my poetry dragged some of you guys! It’s good to be taken down paths you never been, there’s gold down there somewhere, for everyone! :heart: I find myself spacing out mostly in hopes that I’ll lift off but reality is what it is, I’m stuck with family who don’t understand the journey so holidays are blah. My partner has never done a drug so sometimes supporting in her eyes does not look like anything to me. So being in a household with that type of energy when it’s probably not ever going to be in her nature, is tough! Where do people run in those cases cause these are my people so it’s hard to relocate my attachments. When life feels heavy those are times I question what person do I turn to when my people aren’t present mentally, emotionally what place do I go when my place is not placing lol you know like how do I lift the heavy weight when it feels like I’m a bolder! Idk maybe this isn’t the right place for me to come with all this my fault ya be blessed. I wish you all health and wealth! With love CIN!

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I go somewhere out in nature and sit with mother nature. I sit on my steps, go for a walk, climb a mountain, go to the lake or ocean, or just sit outside and watch the birds and squirrels for a few.

In early sobriety, I remember sitting in the middle of my house that was in complete chaos with a LOUD & busy family of 5 + a dog & 2 cats with my headphones on listening to meditation music and finding peace. I learned there how to find that quiet spot, kinda like the eye of a hurricane. I had to want it and to learn how to be ok taking that time to make it happen. It took a few tries but it did work. I also connected to a power far greater than myself there. Then the connection to nature to find that same peace happened for me.

I connect to my sponsor. My recovery community. And my higher power. I never had those connections in my active addiction, but man, it’s been a game changer. No matter what I have going on in life now, I know it’ll all be OK. But I get some help before taking the next step to make sure I’m taking the next right action for me.

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See these are REAL answers thank you so much for this! It was to compare and contrast and make sure I was on the right path! I am a Virgo so walks make me happy but living in the Bronx… not much nature there but I’ll draw or paint and write poetry or just do my daily chores in silent prayer, which definitely works but it can get repetitive so thanks for the extra ideas. I do find that meditation and music that is calming as well as motivational channels on maybe YouTube or Spotify have helped as well, it brings me back to the ground about things! I do wish I had a sponsor though, I always look for that in a best friend but it never works! That type of one on one does hit different but man thanks for this! We’re on to something great! :rose::heart:

A gentle reminder to all to be respectful of answers you recieve and kind in tone when posting. Assuming good intentions and scrolling past things that we don’t like but are not against the rules are good tactics.

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