I have read a lot of posts and comments on here about people worried about what others will say about their sobriety. Posts about the disbelief people have in their attempts.
Day 444, and I am exhausted, I have worked every day since may 12th. Yesterday, I went to work early and then headed to a NASCAR race. This morning I was tired, my eyes were red, moved slowly, and had a headache.
3 people asked: “The way you look, you must have drank at the race?”. Then I saw 2 of them whispering and looking at me. At first I was pissed, they know what I am doing…why would they talk about this.
Then I realized…people will be people…they will gossip, they will tell stories, question motives. Whether its about my drinking or something else they are going to do what they are going to do. I cant change human nature, nor do I wish to attempt it. So why be pissed? Just let it go.
Someone questioning your motive, or your success with sobriety? I say screw’em. Let them. You do you, and let them sadly be who they are.
The true reward isnt what people will think of me being sober, its putting my head on my pillow at night with another sober day completed.
It is true what you said. Most people don’t understand the struggles. Only the ones who struggle and the Lord, and in my case some priests.
I have to learn still not to be upset with the foolishness of some kind of people
And what I will think of myself!
If we lived our lives to other people’s expectations, we would never be our best selves.
Be you, and everyone else can do one!
Nice one Scott.
Not only that, but there are those individuals that thrive on other people’s “drama” and poor circumstance. They need it for their own ego. There is nothing one can do to contend with that. Smile, and let them go on their way.
It’s not worth our time to worry about what people like that think. We have such a short time to live our lives. It’s hard though, and I struggle with it. I know it’s stupid to care about, but it gets stuck in my head. We just need to let it go and focus on what is important. It helped me to remember that I will NEVER see the people I’m dealing with again in a week or two. So why spend time caring about what they say?
So true Scott. I have faced this a few times the past few days, more people referencing my drinking past who don’t really know me, my partner has perhaps been a bit talkative to others about this over two years later. I got a sympathy look and a “you’re doing so well” type of comment. I had a huge. “eff right off” built up inside which I managed to control.
I could have started airing a lot of the BS I had gone through with my partner to them as I’m pretty certain none of that was shared, but I chose to let that stay in the past where it belongs. I politely advised the person that yes I have made some positive changes in my life but that they should bear in mind that there are two sides to every story and that I will keep my side to myself and to please form their opinion of me based on their experiences having stayed with me for 4 nights. They agreed and they have by all accounts had a great time here in Scotland.
The way I see it, I have two choices either let it annoy me or accept that it has happened and be grateful I am sober and level headed to deal with it, it was a bit irritating but it’s not the end of the world.
I am going to address it with my partner though as this has been a few times I have faced this. I’ll sleep and pray on how I go about doing this.
‘not drunk, just exhausted’ should be a bumper sticker .
Way to keep a good head about it, though. I seem to be spending a lot of time reminding people in life that the only thing we have control over is ourselves, and how we respond to life and everything that comes with. Including people who have no idea what they are taking about.
This is such a great post @anon46927530! So many wise words I can’t even quote them all but you’re right! At the end of the day, all we can control is ourselves and truly anyone else’s opinions of us don’t matter! What matters is we know we are doing the right thing. And you certainly are. Hope you get some relief soon!
