Today is my 21st day sober, quitting drinking has been the easy part of my journey, it’s repairing all of my broken relationships that has been the hardest part! My big brother is the most important person to me and the biggest reason for my sobriety. He’s also the one that I’ve hurt the most over the years.
I know that it takes time to repair what I’ve done but at times one day feels like two or three when you’re on the outside with someone you care so much about! He has been very cautious to not to get hurt again, however I’ve seen how bad I’ve hurt him and so many others and the pain I’m going through seeing that is something that I never want to inflict again and gives me the strength to never drink again! It would just be nice to to see some progress on their end when I’m doing so much to repair these relationships. Anyone else experiencing similar issues?
i hear that.
and i don’t know your particular situation, but you mentioned “years” in regards to having hurt your brother. and it’s pretty likely that it will take more than three weeks of sobriety before your brother eases up on some of the caution you mentioned.
that’s not at all meant to diminish your 21 days of sobriety. and i hope you don’t take it that way. 21 days is great and i sincerely hope you keep at it.
i’m just saying from my personal experience i have FUCKED some relationships up with the people i care most for in my life (family, significant others, closest lifelong friends) and they have all heard me plead and beg for forgiveness and they have all heard me promise that i’ll get better and i’ll quit the shit i’m doing. they’d just never actually seen it happen for any significant length of time.
so in regards to those relationships i wish to repair my best bet as i see it is to do my best every single day to not fuck anything up more, and i believe that in time they will begin to see the changes within me that they’ve been promised so many times over all these years.
again, way to go on 21 days. that’s no small feat by any means and i wish you the best with your sobriety/recover and mending of damaged relationships. but i’d say just give your brother some time. actions speak louder than words and all those other cliches that are just straight up true.
best 
The main person I have hurt is: MYSELF!!!
I absolutely LOVE the way you worded this; and couldn’t agree more!!! Thank you for this
My exact sentiments!
Thanks Les, I know that I have to be patient, and continue to prove every day that I am serious about my sobriety, I just wish I knew about how much time he needed, being at arms length with those I care most about especially when sober hurts so much
Bear I agree! By Hurting others has most definitely showed me how much I’ve hurt myself