I would like to open a conversation about OCD and perfectionism. Constructive criticism and your struggles with it. It looks like there are many members with these issues including myself. Life is not perfect so are we. Let’s talk.
Perfectionism is, for me, a way to deal with fear. Today’s AA meeting topic was Feat of fear. That is 100% me. My nickname in the service was Lt. Fearless. Truth be told, looking back, i was afraid. I used booze to keep it bottled up.
If I am perfect, i have no reason to be afraid. So, i cannot rest until I am perfect. I cannot achieve perfection, so I drank…and the cycle continued over and over. I have cried so much these last 9 months. It was fear coming out.
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Does misophonia fit in with this?
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If it is a “why do I drink” answer…then I would say yes.
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Fear of the fear defined my life. Trying to achieve the perfect, I nearly killed myself working. Regardless of the praises, I knew what could be better. So, running on adrenalin for 10-15 hour days, I drank to shut my brain off. Brilliant!
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I left a 6 figure job because of exactly that.
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Why wouldn’t they be done my way…so many times i said this. If things went wrong, then it was because it wasnt my way.
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Trust = not fearing…at least for me…so being Trusting of people was foolish.
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Thank you. This is exactly how I feel. It’s mainly eating sounds, breathing, repetitive movements. I’ve experienced it since I was about 8 years old.
I put headphones on in the living room last night, while at the mother in law’s. But normally I have to leave the room. It’s impossible for my partner to understand it.
Drinking definitely used to interfere with my hearing.
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Damn right! My way. I thought I was a tough but a fair boss. I thought once someone worked for me with dicipline and caring about their work, they will have it easy on their next job. Because I push them to their limits which most of them were thankful later but I pushed myself relentlessly. I was never a mean or degrading, it was all about getting the job done, nothing personal. Except for myself. Respect had to be there and as people we were equal. I was a control freak, neat freak, clean freak. So I drank when I went home, only to repeat the cycle next day.
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My closet is organized by color and sleeve length, and then style. So, short sleeve solids light to dark, long sleeve solids, light to dark, long sleeve plaid light to dark, pants are dress slacks by color to denim by color (mostly dark blue to darker blue to black). Albums and CDs are alphabetical and chronological, books are alphabetical by author, movies are alphabetical and chronological. Everything in my fridge, freezer, and cabinets is placed labels out.
I don’t know if that’s OCD or not…but yeah, I lose my mind if things aren’t the way I put them/like them.
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Exactly me. All of that. It was great when I had a walk in closet before I got married. Now my wife and I share a closet and it’s way smaller than what I had. I organized her stuff the same way and she is not the same way so within a year or 2 of trying to keep it that way I said fuck it and don’t even bother anymore. I just try to ignore it.
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Oh the fridge especially. When I open it I need to see if I am low on something. Everything has to be in glass containers. No rotten veggies ever, herbs wrapped in paper towels before put in plastic bags. Never a smell, ever in the fridge. Yes it is OCD. Welcome to the club.
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@SarahJ
@anon34614660
Absolutely! Repetitive sounds, loud environment…contributes to my already horrible insomnia. It was so bad that my husband and I had to have separate bedrooms because I couldn’t sleep if somebody was breathing next to me not alone snoring. At some point I had to lock out my cats out of my bedroom because one of them started to snore. So, to sleep, I drank.
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This is great, thank you! 
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I am the same way. Everything has a designated spot that it goes. When I am done using something, it goes back to that spot. Not later, as soon as I am done with it.
I have to remind myself regularly that not everyone is like that, and I can’t get upset with someone for maybe not being so particular.
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Ok so I have to ask. How is your girlfriend about cleanliness? And how do you handle it when she isn’t up to your standards with it? I like being picked up and organized but have only lived with filthy pigs turns out. I do NOT find that easy. I’ve been able to separate a lot of it out because it’s my issue I like things clean and it’s temporary but it gets harder day by day. Some days I ask for it to be cleaned up-2 weeks later it MAY be if I keep asking daily, other days I ignore it, sometimes I move it to “their” area to clean up and I clean the rest of the house around it…then there are days I want to take it all and throw it into a trash bag and dump it on their beds or outside! That’s where I am now lol.
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That is awesome progress!! I totally applaud that! 
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I have misophonia and tinnitus also… whistling, tapping, noisy chewing, sniffing and people who do that snot snort noise literally make me see red 
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