I can forgive myself for smoking the joint i bought, but I need to write about why and see what to do next.
I am feeling very lost, too lost to have a huge chunk of sobriety to have the pressure to protect. I want the milestones of 30 60 90 days again.
But I dont want to lie to myself into a real trap. I feel very internally serious about not using until september, if ever. Its not what I need or want. I will post here instead of smoking if I want to do that.