Yes! Not drugs but the same dopamine escape with behavioural addictions. I spent 15+ years burying myself in my addiction and only in the last few months am I discovering who I am as a sober person.
I love it. It’s scary and new but also exciting. Like exploring a new place. There’s a new discovery around every corner 
We don’t choose our natural inclination. It chooses us. If you are indeed an introvert (as I am), then it helps to understand what an introvert is. It doesn’t mean shy, or uncomfortable in social situations. It’s a matter of energy. Extroverts have to be around people. They derive their energy from being in a crowd, and through social interactions. When they are, they are in “charge mode”. When they must be alone, or with only one person, they are in “discharge mode”.
The introvert is the opposite. When interacting with people, they are discharging energy, and when alone, they are recharging.
I am an introvert, who is a retired Marine, who now works as a face-to-face corporate sales professional. I like people, and am around them a lot. But I know that I must have that “alone time” to recharge.
Once you truly understand this, you can harness it to your advantage. You don’t need drugs or booze to be around people. You need rest, and exercise, and meditation, and quiet time to recharge the batteries, so you can project energy and light to those around you.
These are wise words. I have been reflecting about how to be more purposeful about my choices about time: how I spend my time, what activities I prioritize. One thing I’m looking at is exactly how I set aside time to recharge myself.
One great reward for sobriety is the increasing clarity of mind to think about these things, and act on them. It’s something I’m very grateful for 
My solution is to get up very early every morning. I am usually up at 4am on weekdays, and 5am on weekends. This gives me several hours to read and work out, before anyone else can claim any of my time and energy. When my day calls for interactions with people, I begin with the batteries topped-off.
Hmmm, that’s a good solution. Myself I am usually up by 6:00, sometimes 5:30; but earlier than that is not (currently) something I’m accustomed to. However I could look at it. Even a 5:30-6:30 time would make a big difference.
When we are drinking (or using too, I assume, but alcohol was my DOC) we stop growing. 100%
But I do t think this is necessarily a problem for getting sober. I’m viewing this time to also get to know me, to discover the person I am. So far I’m liking what I’m finding.
The only downside is that I sometimes dwell on the lost years but then I give myself a swift kick in the butt to move on and make the best of right now and let go of the past.
It’s all good. 
Though i totally admit this advice can be hard to follow at times.
Some memories simply refuse to stay in the past
Thank you!
I went to a friend’s last night for what was supposed to be a late night grill out session but just turned into everyone getting hammered. When I first got there I felt a little awkward because I was the only one not drinking, but I quickly adapted and felt fine.
There were definitely moments where I thought to myself “just one drink wouldn’t hurt”, but quickly brushed them off! There was even one moment where I brought my boyfriend’s drink to him from inside and thought about taking one sip because “no one would know” but realized there would be no point in doing so and it would mean I was disregarding my progress.
Everyone completely forgot about cooking all together and ended up just taking a bunch of shots and shooting the shit. It only bugs me a little because we specifically went to the grocery store to buy stuff to grill and took time to marinate veggies to kabob and by the time I realized no one else was grilling, I asked if I could still grill the stuff I brought and then felt obligated to share, so my boyfriend and I only split 1 and a half kabobs. That isn’t totally a big deal but it still goes to show how much more my friends care about getting a buzz than doing what we had planned to do.
Anyway, I am proud of myself for not caving and even just having a sip! I really did end up just feeding off everyone’s energy like my old coworker explained. Now I don’t feel as nervous to agree to go to more social settings knowing I won’t be participating in drinking.
Just thought I’d share! Hope everyone’s having an awesome day!
I think I know who I am outside of alcohol as I’ve went long stretches without it before. However, I have a few behavioral addictions where I do not know what my personality is outside if it. I havent been in touch with myself and my true feelings for many, many years.
Thank you so much!
If you don’t mind me asking, what kind of behavioral addictions? I’m not sure what you mean by that and am curious if you’re willing to share.
To name a few: I have various addiction levels to: shopping, love/sex addiction, internet, social media, tv addiction. 90% of my time spent outside of work and sleep is dedicated to these things.
Basically anything I can do to get away from getting in touch with myself I will do it.
I’ve been thinking about this myself over the course of my Sobriety. Like @Graham_Hoffman, this prevented me from going sober as well. I’ve always been loud and charismatic and was even louder when I wad drunk or coked up. But looking back (outside the box) now, I now know I was a source of entertainment. I’m more reserved now, choose when to talk and when not to talk and most importantly think before I speak. I’m trying to hone that Charisma into something positive now and slowly but surely, I’m going to get there.
Absolutely! Alcohol had always helped me get out of my shell (so I thought) and when I would drink I would overcompensate for how quiet and reserved I typically am while sober. But really, when I think back to certain behaviors of mine I’m embarrassed. I totally get the entertainment thing, I think it was more of a laughing at me rather than with me. 
Oh, okay. Hmm. What have you found that helps you? Hopefully this platform has been able to help you some! 
I love how you described “us”. I am an introvert, but it doesn’t mean thst I can’t be funny and interestin when I’m in group of people. It slwsys depends on what sort of people they’re. With some people I was meeting only drunk and honestly, I’m not fancy to see them anymore as they’re not really my “cup of tea”. Not in a bad meaning! That’s what I also love about sobriety - I got to choose who I want to meet with because the main thing is meeting those people and having actually conversation. Before I woulf care only if the alcohol is svailable and I would go anywhere 
I am actually glad that I am introvert, because I can be with myself. I can be alone and I need nobody to make me happy or busy. Especially now when the lockdown is going on I can see the huge benefit of ability to be by myself. I am not bored. I am not missing restaurants, coffee shops, cinemas, gyms, etc. I go run, walk, photography, read a book, exercise, watch tv, meditate, relax… For me it’s a great time (except people are ill and they die 
).
If my personality changed? Yes. Not only that I have all great character I thought I have only when I drink (like being funny and cool), but it improved as I can be conscious. I git rid of all the angriness and depression and anxiety since I stopped drinking. So it’s only benefitial. I gained new skills and became to know my true self which is amazing! Finally I love myself. I had no idea who’s hidden behind the curtain of alcohol…
Those are definitely things I am most looking forward to. I found that a lot of the only similarities I had with the people I surrounded myself was partying. Remove that out of the equation and we didn’t really relate on much else. So in that aspect, I am definitely excited to choose who I spend time with moving forward.
I definitely still have solid positive personality traits that define me, but I kind of just meant like who I am as a whole. Like hobbies or projects I started that I would grow bored of or activities that didn’t involve drinking and stuff. I’m ready to explore and do some soul searching and find things that bring me genuine long term happiness!
I really enjoyed reading this as this is something I’m so worried about coming out of quarantine, all of my friends are big drinkers and our social life is based around a specific bar, obviously I want to see my friends and honestly reading your post has just made me feel like I can do it and if at any point I feel uncomfortable or tempted I can leave and it will get easier, thank you for sharing! x
That’s great to hear! I’m glad I could help in some way. If I can do it, anyone can! 
