Hi,
Well bloody done on acknowledging that things have to change. It takes courage but it can only get better from here. I found it hard at first to admit to “normal” drinkers (muggles) that I had an issue with alcohol. It is difficult to hide your drinking and it is difficult to hide your sobriety. It led me to drinking in secret, thinking wrongly, that no-one will notice. When you feel comfortable I think it is worth enlisting the support of as many people as you can (you can’t say you are on a detox for ever anyway). Best wishes for your recovery and I look forward to seeing you around on this site. 
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We’re glad to have you here! Even though I’ve only been here for two days, joining this place is a huge achievement and I’m proud! I myself do not have experience with alcohol (I only drink alcohol-free beer actually), but there’s a ton of people out here who are glad to help!
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I have definitely drank in secret. Sneaking wine, vodka, or whatever I could get my hands on. I’ve hid it from my partner (or at least I thought I did) for a long time. I’d sneak around when he was outside or doing work. I knew it was wrong. Then started to sneak it around family which is when I hit my breaking point. I knew they knew I was obliterated. And I couldn’t hide it any longer. I have to stop. I’m on day 2 now and starting to feel better but I know as times goes on and I keep up this healthy routine, I’ll feel better and better. I don’t have any urges now and hoping when I do, I’ll be able to make the right decision.
@Squirt My partner is supportive but isn’t completely cutting alcohol out. He asked me if I wanted anything when he left the house. I asked what and he said he was going to get beer. He didn’t suggest that he was asking me if I wanted any alcohol and I didn’t want any. Successfully made dinner and watching Criminal Minds with him AF!
@Piglet I love that you said Muggles! Lol I feel like I’m now in some cool magic club 
@MwinecwaftOwO I’ve also only been on here for two days and it is so surprising and amazing how much support there is (around the clock). They say when you give up an addiction you have to fill it with something else. And this is a big part of it for me. I’m substituting Instagram for this! I’m been on here a lot within the past two days and loving it!
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Good Job with making the right decision 
I found myself trying to hide it from everyone at first. But two things have happened over the last six months: One, I am FREAKING PROUD of myself now! I have no problems telling people because I feel accomplished! Two ,when I do tell people, they are so shocked and in awe that they congratulate me! What I am reading in your post is that you are thinking too much. One day at a time my dear. Think about today. Everything else will come on it’s own and you’ll be happy for it. The other thing that struck me when I read your post is your crying when drunk. When I asked my baby girl who is 12 years old what is the best thing about mommy not drinking anymore, she said “I don’t have to hear you crying every night.” I was so plastered that I didn’t even know I was doing that. How horrible it would be to hear your mother crying in a drunken state every night. I am glad you are going to stop BEFORE you have the babies. You won’t have to deal with the guilt that I have.
You are going to do great I can tell! Big hugs and sending you strength!
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Welcome and congrats on deciding to quit. Quitting was the most important thing I’ve done, hopefully you too will enjoy all the benefits sobriety brings.
When I told my family I quit drinking, they collectively said, “Thank God!!”. I waited about 3 months before I told anyone outside of my household. I totally understand the embarrassment, the fear of being rejected, the judgment that admitting you have a drinking problem, but the reality is, your true friends, and those who truly love you will be happy for you and support you.
If you aren’t ready to tell them, and offered a drink, simply say no thanks. That has worked 100% of the time for me.
And when you are ready to tell them, just be ready for the out pour of support and love.
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Wow @Ravikamor ! I’m right there with you. Sometimes I don’t even remember crying. I’m sure your daughter truly enjoys seeing you happy. It sounds like you two have a healthier relationship now. So proud of you!
And yes - I need to be sober, healthy, and active before I even think or try to have a child with my partner. He isn’t ready for kids just yet. Although we’ve got everything we need (I know no one is every really ready)
Biological clock ticking
Numbing the pain with alcohol is never a good idea. It doesn’t even numb the pain temporarily for me. It just made it worse and started to make me physically sick. It drove me farther and farther from starting a family. I’m doing my best to get back on track and hoping it will create a stronger relationship with my partner.
Thank you for your nice words and sharing your story 
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Thank you @Dejavu ! This is my first go around with long term sobriety. The day I joined ST I didn’t think I was going to tell anyone. But, after one day of everyone’s support, I told my partner. The next day I told my uncle. Slowly but surely I will share this with more of my friends and family.
Again, thank you! This is what keeps me going!
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I know exactly how you feel. Today is my first day too, first day of admitting that I have a drinking problem and I’m an addict. I still can’t bring myself to call myself an alcoholic. I’m not sure why but I do know that I’m tired of feeling ashamed and no good. I’m not those things and neither are you.
We have an addiction but we are here trying to get clean. We need help. I’m here if you need me. I’ve been there, trust me. I do understand. 
This was supposed to post days ago but newbies are limited. I’m still sober and going into day three!
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Did you know that there are two kinds of freedom? The first is one that I call “counterfeit freedom,” and it’s exactly what the word counterfeit means: phony. It’s not authentic. It’s not real. Yet so many in our society pursue it relentlessly. Some of the most popular forms of counterfeit freedom come from drugs or alcohol. People pursue such substances in order to feel high, to feel giddy, to feel euphoric. These days, both legal and illegal drugs are widely available everywhere. It’s gotten to the point that in virtually every metropolis and even tiny villages across the world, we can find generations of people hooked on these substances. The reason this is a counterfeit freedom is because you can never get enough of it. With a drug, you spend most of your time chasing your high. You briefly feel euphoric and free, and then a few moments later you say, “I’ve got to have some more of that.” Obviously if you really were free, you’d experience a sense of contentment rather than needing anything else. The test of authenticity is whether you need more of something in order to keep feeling free. If you do, then you are not free at all. This thing owns you, and you are its prisoner. You don’t have it; it has you. It is not something you’re using; it is something that is using you. Before long, you’re using it again, and then again, and again—you can never get enough of what you don’t want. Yes, it is ironic that the things we don’t want are the ones we chase after. We really don’t want these drugs, we really don’t want this alcohol in our system, yet we find ourselves constantly chasing after it and never getting enough. This search for freedom through substances has trapped users into a lifestyle of never getting enough of what they don’t want. They think they’ll be free when they experience the fantastic high that comes with the drug or drink, but the pleasure is only physical. It lasts a moment or two, then there’s the demand for more. Authentic freedom, on the other hand, doesn’t demand any more. When you experience this freedom, you’re not going to say, “Oh, I’m not satisfied. I have to have more.” Instead, you’ll have a blissful sort of feeling—the freedom of knowing your higher self, of knowing God.
Just read this and thought I would put it here.
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Good for you and welcome. I too know how you feel and it’s hard to admit it to your loved ones but I’m sure when you are ready they will still love you and will support you. I am starting day 1 again and it’s not easy. We can only do it 1 day at a time so let’s see how many days we can go sober. Hopefully forever.
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@Bibi I’m on day 3 as well! Woo-hoo! We can celebrate our anniversary together lol. So glad we can take this journey together. I’m glad that both of us have reached the point of complete exhaustion of the tireless life of being addicts. Wish it would have never gotten to that point but what’s done is done. Now we are ready to put that life behind us and start anew:clap:
@Dolse71 That was beautiful! And so very true! Thank you for sharing
@Liz22 proud of you for coming back here and restarting! It’s so important to come back after a relapse. It takes a lot of will power and self control to flip your life back around. Proud of you! Keep up the good work!
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They are Muggles! No-one understands what we have been through unless they have experienced it themselves. And we are magical" Ha ha
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Update for all of you lovely people out there-
I’m on Day 3! Feeling better slowly. I’m going all in. Day 1 it was purely resting and being nice to myself. Day 2 was filled with morning yoga, evening workout, hydrating, vitamins, and yes… flossing.
Now it’s days 3. I took a morning bike ride to get my partner and myself coffee and pastries. It’s cold and windy here and the bike ride numbed my fingers. But being on my bike by myself and listening to music in the frigid morning was amazing. I feel like I can breath. I feel independent (and not dependent on what ails me).
I’m working from home today. Plan on taking my mom to the airport after work. Then another work out when I’m home. I haven’t been this active this entire year. It feels good. If I keep this up, maybe I’ll start to tone my body up and feel good about myself again. I know cutting out alcohol will help. Especially because my junk food habits always emerged when I drank.
On another honest note - I’m still feeling anxious and sad. Those are the two biggest negative feelings I have. Being on here helps with both of those. It gives me something to read, something to think and reflect on, something to do with my fingers. It gives me a feeling of gratitude for all of the support out there. It also makes me feel less lonely.
Well, that’s all for now! I hope you all enjoy my Day 3 check in! 
&
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Alrighty folks. Working on completing day 4. First time I had a craving. My internet went out while I was working and suddenly felt “oh, this is a good time to drink”. I went to my ceramics class and on the way home I was tired and thought “I could really use a drink”. But I didn’t. I drank a seltzer water. Thought about HALT. First urge I was angry. Second urge I was hungry. I’ve calmed down and my belly is full.
Currently sitting on the couch about to watch Criminal Minds SVU and do some knitting. My partner has been keeping up with the 3 beers 3 days a week. Today is his 3rd day. So, no more drinking for him for the rest of the week. We both can feel it. Eating better, exercising, hydrating. Our moods are much better. We are having nice conversations and enjoying each other’s company.
I’m happy to say this is going well. I’m hoping to continue keeping this up. I’m a little worried about this weekend. My cousin is in town and may want to hang out. She’s a big drinker and with my nonna passing away… I know she’ll want to drink. How do I deal with this? Avoid seeing her? Or tell her I’m on a cleanse or detox?
Your thoughts and advice are much appreciated!! &
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Tell her you’re doing sober December! And you’ve never felt so good!
#truth🥰
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Day 5. It’s Friday. I had several urges to drink but did not. Weekends use to be the prime time for drinking. I’m going to try and stay busy. Hiking and ceramics tomorrow. Sunday I want curl up with a good book. Maybe more crocheting.
My partner broke his “3 beers 3 days a week”. He drank again today. He got upset with me that I even mentioned it. I’m committing to this and would love to see him commit to something. Even if it’s the “3 beers 3 days a week”.
I’m feeling hyper emotional and lonely. Although my partner has been home all week, I’m feeling extra sensitive. I kind of think I’m annoying him. I’m doing all of these other things to keep my mind off of drinking but how do you get over the lonely feeling? Even if you are living with your partner? Is anyone else dealing with this or has dealt with this?
Thanks for reading &
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You are definitely not alone, we all have similar stories one way or another our habits got out of hand. I understand not wanting to share with your family and friends. This group is amazing for support and encouragement. Keep coming back and keep checking in. You will be suprised of many people will on here will fight the fight with you. I am only on day 2 myself, so know that you are not alone.
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It takes time, and practice, but with enough patience you can learn to be completely content being alone, if if not physically.
For me, the key was creation. Whether food or music, if I could create, I could be alone and content.
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I can totally relate to the lonely thing & live with my partner and his two young daughters. I’m learning to fill my day for myself and keep my mind busy. I’m currently at 172 days sober and describe my journey as an emotional roller coaster ride. The more I’m learning to love myself the less lonely I feel.
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