Addiction is always mostly psychological. Even in the most difficult physical withdrawals, with appropriate support from medical doctors, eventually the physical symptoms pass - but the effort has only just begun. Getting over the physical stuff is the easy part.
This is textbook addiction. Normal people don’t feel ecstatic about that feeling of disappearing and numbing, but we do (you are not alone in having struggled with this). Normal people don’t hate themselves after drinking (or other addiction behaviour), but we do. It’s kind of like we have an allergy, similar to an allergy to peanuts. Most people have no trouble snacking on peanuts. We can’t, so we learn to be happy and healthy without peanuts.
Ultimately what label you use isn’t really important. If you have a problem, you have a problem. The important thing is to start learning about it, and talk to people who know what it’s about. There’s a great list of books and podcasts here, and also a list of recovery groups:
Welcome to Talking Sober! 