Pity party over here

I want a drink so badly right now. And a cigarette. And a good cry. My fiancee of 8 years left me 20 days ago (I’m 19 days sober) but every time we talk it’s a punch to the gut. We were supposed to do 3 days one house 3 the other but I have the kids 5 this week because of his work schedule and I’m unemployed. How am I going to find a job if I always have the babies? How am I going to make this work??

And the kids (ages 1 and 3) have been little terrors lately: slapping, pinching, pulling hair, biting… I know they’re confused. So am I. Any other time in my life I would have had at least 3 shots of tequila by now, worried about how I’m going to keep us afloat.

He also informed me that he’s going to go for sole custody of the kids even though we had agreed upon coparenting. I’m so scared. He keeps calling me an alcoholic even though he’s still drinking but no one knows. His family has money and will stop at nothing to keep my children away from me. I’m terrified and have no outlet except for on here so sorry for the freaking novel.

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Well the other woman is his mom lol, he always flies back to the nest when the going gets the tiniest bit tough. And I’m sure he deleted the incriminating texts (I was too stupid to screenshoot them when I saw them)

No problem about venting here. That’s one of the reason this forum is here.

My ex told me she was thinking about a divorce. I immediately quit drinking. She divorced me anyway but I stayed sober for Me.

For over 2 years it was not good. We both had anger and I was dealing with the emotional pain. A few months ago things started to change and now we talk often and let the past be the past. Although I don’t think the hurt will ever totally go away.

Stay sober! It sounds like you have the drive and will to do it. If you haven’t yet get a sponsor and attend meetings. Take care of you first and everything else will fall into place.

I’m no lawyer but I would hope if you remained sober and had proof you were doing whatever it took to stay that way (note from your sponsor and or counselor) he probably would have a hard time painting you as a horrible unfit drunk. To me you sound just the opposite. Someone who wants to better themselves like I want to.

You got this!


I actually was a divorce/family court lawyer and @frank68 is right. If you stay sober and emerse yourself in a program of recovery it will definitely help. Also, judges hate when people belittle the other side so that won’t help him either. It’s more about showing that not only are you a good parent, but also that you are able to communicate with the other party in order to provide your children with the best possible life.


I just qualified for Medicaid so I might go to an outpatient substance abuse program there. I don’t have a car (I know my life is a mess right now) because my fiancee and I were sharong one, but Medicaid will send someone out to pick you up so that shouldn’t be a problem. Then once I finally get a car there’s a place for meetings only a mile down the road. I don’t have a drop of alcohol in the house, my mom and I tossed it all as soon as I got out of detox so I wouldn’t have any temptation


Sorry to hear you’re going through this, but sounds like you already know what you need to do to keep your side of the street in order. That’s amazing and takes real strength, well done!

See that’s where we have a hurtle, more like a canyon. I have begged him, at first to talk about our relationship but when I realized he wouldn’t change his mind on that I have to beg him to set a time to pick up the , to tell me when he’s dropping them off, to help me pick outva preschool for our oldest. He just doesn’t want to talk about anything serious. It’s so frustrating. He hasn’t even allowed me to get full closuee on the relationship. We said we wanted to be happy around the kids, not have the strain. But it’s there, definitely