The other thing i would like to say to you is we get caught up feeling like we’re being deprived of something by not being able to drink but the truth is drinking deprives alcoholics of real life. I don’t know if you’re an alcoholic or not, only you can answer that question. Best wishes to you.
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And for me, I dont understand why sloppy, incoherent, and idiotic are even appealing!! I truly like my sober self better. Yet…I romanticize the first few drinks…the initial feelings…But, to move away from those harmful thoughts, I “play the tape to the end”. My last few binges were planned. There was plenty of time to talk myself out of it. I chose not to!! No more. I have the tools to do it differently this time.
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For me it is quite literally playing out in my head what will happen if I drink.
Say I get mad for some reason and my first reaction is to drink… What will happen if I do?
Based on past events, I may get in a fight with my wife, I may get a DUI, I may end up in jail for fighting, or it may just end with a hang over where I’m puking up bile every 30 minutes and calling off of work.
Then what happens if I don’t drink? I go for a walk, get fresh air, clear my head and in 30.minutes, I forget why I was mad in the first place.
Then I make my decision, and the choice is clear; don’t drink.
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I have actually never had a real fun with alcohol because all I was thinking about was how to get more of it and if somebody has more than me, etc. The following day I mostly didn’t even recall what I did and I never cared what event it is or what people are there. All what mattered to mw was the booze. Unlike now I care about people and what’s actually going on. It is much better to stay sober for me 
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This is great I never even thought about playing it through what a great concept I’m on day 2 and this is so helpful cause already I’m hitting the triggers this will really really help me today thanks to all.
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Personally, I play the tape forward by writing it down. I think “if I do this, how will I feel really? How long is the pleasure going to last? Will it even be pleasurable? It wasn’t anymore when I was still using! How will I feel tomorrow, physically, emotionally? The pain, the guilt, the shame. How hard will it be to close that door all over again?”. Pretty soon after starting to play it through, I am thoroughly turned off. I find that writing it, or saying it out loud helps. Keeping it as thoughts in my head, it is far too easy to just fall into the dopamine induced biased version of using.
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It is going to stick this time. If I say to myself “I want it to stick this time”, I am stating a preference. My resolve has to be stronger than that. So, my mantra is…I will do this.
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Playing the tape means taking the time BEFORE you have that drink (or whatever) to think about where it will lead you down the road. Will it be just one? If it IS just one, will you have another “one” tomorrow too. Will that become two? How long before you’re drinking the whole bottle by yourself again? How long before you’re hiding just how much you’re drinking? Will you drink so much that you lose your job and or relationships?
It seems like “just one” today but if you play the WHOLE tape you realize that it is never just one and you could end up losing it all.
It’s just not worth it, not anymore.
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