I am sick of coming back here, saying all the right things and then failing. I am so sick of this. Why can’t I stop?? I want to stop so badly. Please, I WISH I never wanted to drink alcohol or smoke a cigarette ever again. Please please let me stop. I hate this!
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We’re all here with you on this, same damn difficult and complicated path.. keep fighting for you 
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I couldn’t stop once I began drinking. It sucked all the energy out of me.
The only chance I had was not beginning. Not having the first tiny glass, not just because you know we are all here together and all these other occasions which I also created to start drinking.
For not having the first glass I need tools, help and in my case the point of: fuck, I cannot live like this anymore. It’s killing me sooner or later. I went to meetings, therapy and later found this wonderful place.
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Welcome back @scaredsmol. Glad you decided to give it another go. I think we all can relate to wishing for a magical solution to be free of the addiction. This is unfortunately not how it works. You absolutely deserve a happy, healthy and sober life. So what’s your plan?
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Stay away from that first sucker peg !!!
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Try Meeting helped me stay sober wish you well
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Have you read any books about sobriety? That helped me to quit.
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Hi @scaredsmol, sending you strength 
know that you deserve this and that you can make it happen. I’ll leave the advice to the longtimers but I wanted to let you know that we have your back.
@scaredsmol just checking in : how’s going? Whenever you feel like in need of support, come here and talk with all us 
Hey everyone, thanks for the kind words. I did start reading Allen Carr but it went on for so long about why it’s such a good book rather than getting to any help that I lost interest but I’ll try again. I was thinking of maybe getting in touch with my old therapist though I’m not sure how much help therapy will be as I already know why I drink.
One day at a time seems to be the least scary option. For the rest of my life feels impossible.
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That’s the one and only practical option in my opinion. One day at a time. And one day after the other. Baby steps.
And with every challenge or task you handle sober you’ll get strength from this and it’ll get easier.
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Sometimes it is just nice to have a therapist to talk at, even if we have a lot of therapy background. Getting stuff out…our confusion, all that, helps lighten the load. Or it does for me. 
All we really have is today, so taking it one day at a time sure makes it more manageable. I don’t know about you, but when I live in the future, I get super anxious. Sometimes we need to take life minute by minute too.
Getting sober/recovery, is a process. It isn’t linear. You are doing this. Don’t give up.
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