I have 4ish weeks before rehab. I have to prove to muself I can do this without going. I dont have ot in mt to leave my boys. Living with a anoth active alcoholic is so hard.
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It could be worth it if it fixes your life. A few weeks is a small imvestment.
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Rehab was what this drunk needed as I had tried mentally all but dying to beat it. Rehab gave me a safe, healthy place with others who wanted to be free too. Time & money well spent I feel.
Lots of folks do it without, but some work has to be put in daily or our defenses are lacking and often fail.
Hugs to you and your spouse & you two can win this war but each must have their own recovery plan and work it: Daily.
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So glad you have come to this site. Lots of support for you here.
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I like to remember what a nurse once told me in therapy. I felt guilty as I was doing better than others (from my perspective). And she said that it’s better to go there when you don’t drown. When you have your head above water to learn to swim properly. So to say, not struggling with acute withdrawal and being able to work on what brings you back to the bottle or your DoC. Being sober for weeks, months or years doesn’t mean that we can handle our problems in a healthy manner. I got pushed back when I faced major changes in my life after 90 ays sober. New city, new work, new everything.
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Hi, there, Lizz, and welcome to this group.
I went to what you call “rehab”. I was in inpatient treatment for a month. Are you talking about inpatient treatment? I assume so.
I met a lady in treatment who had her kids taken away from her because of her addiction to pain medication. She cried while she explained to me why she was in there. But she was doing what was necessary to get her kids back.
I was willing to do whatever it takes to get well and that included inpatient treatment. Like you, I did not want to go and I felt my reasons were legitimate (different than yours but I felt they were “justified”). My therapist, who was working with me on my relationships with women, changed my mind. I won’t get into that very emotional story but if it weren’t for her, I would probably be dead or in prison now. Thanks in part to her emotional meeting with me in her office, I celebrated 29 years in recovery on April 4th.
So, first off, YOU CAN DO THIS. Secondly, you may need some Alanon meetings as well as your AA meetings, because in Alanon we learn to let go of things we otherwise think about way too much. And right now I can see that your kids are weighing heavily on your mind. Remember this: Substance Use Disorders do not care whether you have kids, and they do not care whether you have a job and they do not care about what you do with your kids. A good parent number one takes care of themselves. If they don’t they are unable to care for their children. So you need this, girl. Find a family member who is supportive and make sure that they can at least take your kids part of the time you are gone, if that is at all possible.
Third, I would seriously consider alternate or transition housing for when you are released from treatment for you and your children. You can’t survive being released from treatment if you have to live with an intimate partner who is an active alcoholic or drug addict. It is too hard and places way too many barriers to your staying within your treatment aftercare plan and your recovery plan thereafter.
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I left my kids twice for month long rehabs/hospitalizations. It was the most loving thing as a mother I could do for my kids. I’m glad you joined this community.
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Elizabeth, welcome. This is a good place to get support and connection. I’m not clear on your situation.
Is your partner also wanting to quit? If not, I can see a dilemma. How old are your boys, and are you concerned about their welfare if you were to go into rehab?