That is a lot to go through for anyone. I sympathise with the overload of pain and stress that ppl like us, already blessed with fucked up minds 
don’t bear as readily as some others. All the more reason to look into additional help to both maintain sobriety and work on your pain around experiences, so that your life may become more happy, constant, fulfilled. Less hard to live.
And like Mno said, there are more options than therapy to explore. Though I do think, if it’s been going on that long, there will be a time in your life to look at your depression, your pain and fear, deeply. Maybe that time is now. Maybe it’s with a bit more sobriety under your belt.
Stay sober, stay with us and with yourself.
Since you seemed to relate to my story 
I’ll take the liberty to attach a link to my Two year post where I told a bit more about my life before sobriety. Maybe you feel more akin, and more understood, and you can get a sense of what’s in store for you, down the sober road. You are NOT alone. Boar Day 731
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