It’s a core concept in the SAA program (Sex Addicts Anonymous) - they have details about it here:
The sex addiction recovery clinic I attended in my early sobriety used it as a core practice in their introductory group work. It was helpful for me to get a sense of how sexual behaviours can be seen and defined.
Interesting.
This made some things clearer for me about my recovery 
Day 75 from MO
Day 10 from P
One of the features i like best about sobriety from MO is my mind is clearer.
i feel like i can pursue my goals easier.
Love this. The mind does way more clearer the more you go without. It’s about dopamine. You are rewiring your brain.
Just went to the gym and I feel good. And to think i had some social anxiety around going in the first place.
I need to remember to not PMO after good encounters either. Sometimes in our recovery we feel like we want to double down on a good day with a cherry on top being a pmo session, but that isn’t any desert. It ruins the day.
Pmo is no gift to anyone. Keep remembering that.
Our goal is to rewire to be attracted to and attract real life partners.
Replace our bad habits with good ones so we can attract better things in our lives: better hobbies, a partner, a better work and home life, etc.
Honestly sometimes stuff is unavoidable and it doesn’t have to be much, I get it. Malls for example have stores in them that I have no want to visit yet when I walk through a mall the advertisements are huge and easily viewable. In this situation from what you are saying I try to not give it power. For example, when I see something that is triggering or whatnot I recognize what I saw and register how I feel about it but then ask does that serve my life in any way? No ok then cool moving on.
It’s not always easy but the more effort you put into trying to push it away or ignore it the more likely it will stay taking space in your brain not leaving you time to give attention to anything else.
Your doing good, I hope that helps.
Parents left to go to a meeting and like clockwork my urges spike up telling me i should MO, but i don’t need that in my life. It’s unecessary. It wastes time and energy. It doesn’t move me towards my goals and makes me feel like crap afterwards. And plus if you engage with a pleasure homeostasis in your body will make you feel pain/bad after to even you out.
Totally agree.
Also about homeostasis is also correct.
It does it to keep the balance.
No point of feeding those urges, as for when you do, they get stronger and stronger and the goal is to make them weaker, not stronger.
Parents are going on vacation for 2 weeks. I’m gonna need someone help to abstain for those 2 weeks. Help me.
Can you structure you days out?
Do you work?
After work structure your evenings.
One evening you can maybe go for a long walk.
The next maybe read a new book.
Then maybe a bike ride if the weather is nice.
Schedule your time and write it down on a calendar or somewhere so you know exactly what you are doing.
Schedule in rest too and sleep and eating meal, etc.
If you want to message me, reach out to me and I can try and help you as best as I can. I’ll try and respond as soon as I can.
You got this.
Also imagine how good you will feel at the end of those 2 weeks if you don’t act out.
Just got a tablet from an estate sale. I was tempted to use it for porn, but i stopped myself and added a Dns filter onto it’s wifi, which basically filters out anything porn related when searching online with it.
If you want to do this on an iphone: go to your wifi and click on the i, then scroll down to the DNS category, switch it to manual then enter both of these DNSs in place of the 1st and 2nd ones there:
185.228.168.168
185.228.169.168
I’m going to try this. This is awesome. I’m saving this in my notes. Thanks
Let me know if you have trouble getting it to work. I can help out
La pornografia. Es una mierda te vuelve adicto enseguida y uno empieza a ver a las mujeres como objeto. Gran post mi amigo trato de mantenerme cerca de dios siempre. Lejos de las drogas el alcohol y la pornografia. Y con la gracia de nuestro señor jesucristo que nos guia todo es posible
Did it work for you?
I am just self employed through Door dash. I also do side jobs through Watching cats and dogs.
I got to keep reminding myself to not be so hard on myself. With PMO recovery and other aspects of life as well.
I was playing around with browsers today and thought what would happen if i made a new google browser user then searched up porn on that and clicked a link on there. I have a Cold turkey blocker set up on my computer now, so I thought it would redirect me whenever i clicked a link that was in my Not Allowed list in google. Turns out it didn’t redirect me away from the porn site and i saw something.
But i got out of the porn site immediately. Within like 5 seconds.
I suppose since it wasn’t the original google profile that had it set up with then it didn’t filter it.
I say i got to be easier on myself, because i was tempted to call that a porn relapse, but i didn’t sit there and look at the media longer then 5 seconds, so i wouldn’t call it a relapse then.
I almost feel like the media has to start up arousal in you for you to really call it a relapse, but at the very least you’d have to be on a site longer then 5 seconds to call it a relapse.
Some people might be hardcore and say just the fact that you’re testing your filters could be considered a relapse.
I heard though that seeing a porn site for a couple seconds then exiting out of it could actually be good for your sobriety. Because it leads to increased willpower.
That kinda makes sense, because the opposite is true the more time you spend viewing porn the more decreased will power you will have.
What do you guys think is 5 seconds or less peaks a porn relapse in your opinions?
Hey everyone, you can call me K. I’ve been dealing with porn addiction since middle school (I’m 32 now). I’ve had some solid streaks, but the urges can get overwhelming. While I’m mainly attracted to women, I’ve also found myself using Grindr to meet feminine men—often driven by intense visual urges that don’t always align with real-life interest. Every time I relapse, I fall back into the same cycle: porn, Grindr, repeat. It’s a relief to finally put this out there.
I am not here to judge or tell you what is a relapse for you.
But if I were to put myself in your shoes, if I started figuring out loopholes or ways to get around web blockers, and then choose to click through and go on a porn site… I just feel like that’s very dangerous territory. Certainly middle circle if it isn’t inner circle.
To me it sounds like you’re making excuses and rationalising getting closer to looking at porn. That’s probably not sober LifeWarrior135 wanting to do that, that’s probably addict LifeWarrior135 wanting to do that.
Be careful, it’s a slippery slope.
Keep working on your sobriety, you can do it, one day at a time 
Welcome @HealthyBrain !
I think part of the reason porn is so insidious is because you’re always looking for the next novelty thing to get you more dopamine. For some people they end up looking at illegal stuff, for some people they look at stuff that doesn’t align with their values or their sexuality, some people they escalate to acting out in person rather than or in addition to porn use.
When I was in active addiction, I regularly had cybersex (online sexting, sharing nudes etc) with men, I also met up with a few men in person when I was at a bit of a low point in my addiction.
One of the things my therapist said to me early on when I asked her about sexuality, was that it’s like an artist’s easel. Everyone has different colours on their “easel”, with porn/sex addiction the easel gets muddled up with so many colours it becomes difficult to know what we genuinely like and what is the addiction. You have to first sort the addiction out, get a good amount of sobriety under your belt, and then it will become a lot easier to determine what sexual activities, what people etc you were into because of the addiction and what you are genuinely naturally attracted to.
I appreciate that turned into a bit of a word diarrhoea ramble but hopefully it makes vague sense!