So I’ve been addicted to PMO since I was 11 I’m 21M with ADHD and I have tried to stop PMO and I’ve gotten close a few times, but for some reason I feel like there’s just something holding me back from breaking a self perceived barrier by stopping. If I could break this said barrier I’d be free, but It’s like I just can’t let it go. I don’t know. Any advice or opinions?
1 Like
Perhaps you can try to be without for 90 days first and see how you come along. I did it - tomorrow it will be 90 days.
2 Likes
Hi @Clovertail27 welcome to the community. There is a PMO thread on the forum, with lots of tips and resources from various members. Worth checking out.
I have ADHD too and the impulsivity is a challenge. Take things a step at a time. Coming here is a great first step.
1 Like
For me it was because I had convinced the myself the only person it was impacting was myself, so why did I really need to stop. It took me hitting my lowest point, and getting a wake up call that it was impacting my wife to make it “real”.
Now 6 months later I can feel all the ways it was destroying my life that while I was in the middle of it I just couldn’t tell. I can’t say I feel “better” these days, but at least I actually feel things again. It is a long journey, but at least I know I am putting in the work to recover and be a person I can be proud of again.
Maybe it is the same for you, you haven’t discovered your reason to quit yet. As was suggested, try just going without for 90 days just to see if you can do it.
3 Likes
You need to realize why you’re quitting, or you could spend the entire time racking up clean days but wishing you could go back. In that scenario, you’re fantasizing about the potential fun, but forgetting why you stopped in the first place. You need to think about why you’re quitting as often as you’re tempted to give up. It needs to be real, with unambiguous motivational force. It’s like the difference between knowing why you wear safety equipment, and wearing it because you have to.
1 Like
You are right. I just feel that I want to gain some self respect for me, so that I can see people in their eyes again. But it is hard, and I do have many fantasies. But I feel like I am a better person now. I am proud of myself.
1 Like
Hi. In my experience, theres never a one size fits all aproach to breaking addiction unfortunately. I think its a lot of trial and error and to not be afraid of failure. One of my favourite sayings is ‘Theres no shame in failure, only shame in not trying’. It was for me, I couldnt go a day without it until I first admitted I had a problem and then I let go of shame so I had the courage to try different strategies. I think it helps to have a plan. I have a mixed plan which includes short term defensive measures to minimize relapse and a long term infrastructure plan, I find this to be quite effective, though imperfect. I’m happy to go into more detail if you wish.
I think having a realistic and pragmatic approach is also important. For example you mentioned fantasies, I think this is important. My go to was Macrophilia so it was based more around imagination and the power dynamic than nudity and imagery. Therefore using things like pornblockers or parental locks would never work for me. I knew I had to have a more clinical and sterile attitude towards addiction if I were to have any chance of success. Last month I managed 32 days, im currently on day 7.
Like I say, everyone has to find their own path but I hope there was something in my rant that has given you some ideas and such.
1 Like
This is an inspiration to me for sure…
Thank you for posting this. 