All throught my adult life, I cant remember going without alcohol for more than a few weeks by choice. I’d start to get to feeling motivated and losing weight and then I would reward myself with just one night to let go. Then of cause the next day, I’d feel like crap, so I’d drink just a little bit to feel better…normal. of course i’d realize I had to stop drinking when I would feel tired from trying to get drunk and eventually just go to sleep. Then stay not drinking for a couple weeks, and so on. I am ready to just stop already. I always ask myself “aren’t you tired of being chained to the feeling of just one more is ok, I’ll stop tomorrow?”. I tell myself that I love myself in the mirror, but then to be disgusted with the face looking back at me…its so tired and worn and shameful and hypocritical and judgemental. That’s when I’d go to the fridge and pop a cold one. Then everything is better till the next time…
You can get off the rollercoaster anytime you’d like
Either get off when it stops or wait for it to derail.
Yep, and I do occasionally. Just haven’t broken away from the thrill of the ride i suppose.
Thank you. I wouldn’t like to think of dying from this obsession, but you have a valid point.
Well, liver cirrhosis is no joke…
That I am aware of, sad to say, both of my parents passed away from that same illness. That’s one of the things that motivates me to stop for a while. Then when I think I’m good and moderation won’t hurt, I find myself down the hole again.
That sounds like me. I was really good at justifying my reasons to use. I’m a Pornography and Masturbation Addict. I’d get complacent and begin viewing seemingly normal images but with dark intent. This led me down the rabbit hole.
Now I realize that even flirting with something that is not porn, but isn’t appropriate, will cause me to relapse eventually. I can’t let down my guard even once.
It may be different with alcohol abuse, but the principle remains the same, moderation is not a success plan.
I never really thought about it that way. Ima have to sleep on that one.
By all means. I’m sure there are some out there that can turn the tap off and then go back to drinking in moderation. That might even be you. You have to decide.
My two cents though (unasked for). Alcohol is literally a poison. I cant say I relate and therefore cannot give accurate opinion, since I have literally never had any alcohol in my life. But, I can say that I’ve never missed it.
Nope, I just have a feeling I won’t be able to just stay moderate. All or nothing. Suppose that explains the roller coaster.
I know I have to stop bending that elbow and get on track.
I am glad I found this app so that I can just freely talk about this subject.
Exactly how I felt when I joined the forum. Stick around. We are a fun lot here, it’s not all business. But, when you’re in need, we are there for you.
Greatly appreciated, thank you.
Never anything good comes from drinking. so even moderation is a crap shoot. Even people that can do it. Unless you enjoy the taste ur accomplishing nothing. Why not skip the moderation and keep living your better sober life. Moderation may sound or feel appealing but is it really worth it?
No, it’s not worth it at all. Just like plants dont actually love electrolytes. I can see that willingly pouring cell destroyers down my throat isn’t going to make me live till I’m 102, but it sure feels good at times. Is it normal to feel so defensive while attempting to get sober? I’ve always downplayed my feelings in the past.
It’s normal to pretty much feel every feeling during early sobriety. I can also say that once you get through the detox phase living a sober life feels better than any drink could ever make me. Are you willing to do whatever it takes to get sober?