I understand that. Maybe therapy would be an appropriate way to get those things off your chest without speaking to strangers. Would that be an option for you? Or maybe attend the ACA meetings without sharing until you feel comfortable?
Yeah, I am also in therapy & I do talk about a lot of that, but I know I need more. I need a community to help support me, but I have so much anxiety about people that I withdraw & isolate myself.
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We all withdraw and isolate! Itās the mark of a porn addict. Youāre certainly not alone there.
This is a great community and I encourage you to find people to open up to and share with. Iāve met some awesome people here that really contribute to my program. If I can help you in any way, just let me know.
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Hi everybody!
Iām currently on the march to rid myself of pornography. It has been more than a year since I first tried to quit, and many more since I developed the addiction I didnāt realize I had, but I know that I can defeat it - anyone who has realized their problem has the power to, no matter how difficult it gets!
Iām currently at day 3 and counting, and I canāt remember the last time Iāve gotten this far.
Is there private messaging on this app? Iām pretty new to it. Either way, if anybody wants to talk about their struggle with anyone, I encourage you to reach out to me! Iām looking for somebody I can be accountable to; does anybody want to ally and help each other become free?
Best wishes to everybody here, and cheers from Texas.
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Hey @anewday66! Welcome!
This is from a previous post here but it seems relevant so Iāll paste it here.
It sounds like youāre interested in having an accountability/recovery partner. I canāt help you there but I am in here every day. Maybe start a thread. Tell us your story. Let us know what program youāve been working to stay clean.
Maybe, as you get comfortable and you demonstrate your commitment to recovery that accountability partner might materialize. Sometimes it takes a while for a bond like that to form. I know Iām hesitant about putting my effort in with somone who I havenāt built trust with yet. I wanna be sure theyāre willing to do whatever it takes to get clean. Truth is, there is a lot of people that wonāt and Iām not going to get invested if I donāt see that commitment.
The most helpful piece of literature that I found in my journey was Breaking the Cycle by George Collins. Also, therapy and Talking Sober has been instrumental in my recovery.
Have you considered attending SA or SLAA meetings? I donāt have them nearby, the closest meeting is 2.5 hrs away but I would certainly be going if I did have them nearby. It helps to build your sober network which it seems youāre searching for. Thereās also pornaddictsanonymous.org if youāre interested in working the 12 steps online. They also have call in meetings regularly. You just have to create a profile and then get involved.
@nick_1985, I admire to your decision to work on this area of your life. Cross addiction is not uncommon.
Youāve made such strides with your recovery from alcohol. Now youāre taking another step forward. You got this! Keep checking in and let us know how this journey is coming along.
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Hi @KevinesKay thank you. Although it seems less of an addiction and more of a habit. After a couple of days I found I wasnt even thinking about porn and only realised after a week due to the goal popping up on my phone. Decided to completely stay away from going solo on my own so as you can imagine when I saw the girl Im seeing last night I was like a dog on heat 
seems Id just gotten into the habit of once upon waking and once when going to sleep. Definitely going to keep an eye on it though and still post. Still havent watched porn or had a sneaky one in the shower.
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This is fantastic man! Good going! Just never give up and also be extra careful now that itās going well. I hit 29 days once and that was a chart topper, then I came toppling down! It got to my head.
Pride comes before a fall. Just keep doing what works for you! Itās great to hear you are doing well Newpath30! Howās it going now (after the comment above?) Still sober?
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Yes welcome Mags! Can I call u Mags? 
You are a champion just for being on this group! Keep up the good fight, you donāt have to feel ostracized here! This type of addiction doesnāt care if someone is male/female, rich/poor, it preys on everyone! It will end with you and me! We can start a new thought pattern, and get as far away from it as possible. There is no shame here and you wonāt be rejected! All of us on this group are here for one thing! Freedom! And there is NO SHAME in that!
I was ostracized and laughed at at an alcoholics and drug support group when I mentioned that I struggled with Pornography. When they went around the circle you had to say how long you had been sober and I think I was on day 1 or 2, when I mentioned that, some women in the group laughed. I have not been back to that group for a long time and there is no SA group in my area for those who struggle with porn.
I have 2 accountability partners in my church who I check in with.
I relapsed last night and again this morning. Feel like $#it but I confessed it to Jesus and I am moving forward! I am happy that I am forgiven and can make a clean start in my life. I want to do whatever it takes to break free and will also be packing my laptop away at night. If itās on my desk in my bedroom and on, Iām goneā¦we should be honest with ourselves and with God. Also with our accountability partners.
Pray for me and Iāll pray for all of you!
iwillwin
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Hey Everyone, I am back on Sobertime. I have been using another app called Reboot, really good app, now I use Sobertime and Reboot together. I like the stats feature on Sobertime. I have been away from this chat for a long time. I thought I should come back because I relapsed last night and again this morning.
Please can you all pray for me. I am in a dark place in my life.
I started cycling again. Went on a 25 or something km bike ride yesteday. It was good to get outside! I need this to get outside and be with other people since I tend to isolate myself. My history is one of a lot of pain and rejection but I donāt want to live in the past anymore.
I want to start a completely new life from now on and a completely new beginning with my Christian. faith!
I no longer want to objectify women anymore I no longer want to do porn and masturbation, I will shut down my laptop at night and be very honest with my accountability partners. I hate giving in to sin and giving in to this garbage! It makes me feel like shit! I hate it.
I want to love God with all my heart, all my soul, all my mind and all my strength and love my neighbour as myself!
May my God help me!
iwillwin
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YEAH!
Heās back! @iwillwin, itās really great to hear from you.
So sorry to hear about your last relapse. That is hard. But I admire your resolve to keep pressing on and never giving up.
Welcome back!
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Thanks so much KevinesKay! I really appreciate the encouragement! Today is a new day!
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Hey @iwillwin,
You mentioned the idea of packing your laptop away at night. I take it that it has been an avenue for acting out for you. Let me share with you how I manage my computer and phone.
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My computer at home is password protected. In order to get on, I need a code provided by one of my family members. This job usually goes to Abby, our oldest daughter. Sheās eleven now, and has been my gatekeeper for years. And itās effective.
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I do not have any administrative privileges. If I need to install a program or do any updates, I need a family member to put in the code.
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I cannot browse the web. My browser is whitelisted to only include certain sites that I regularly use. If I need to add a site to the whitelist, I need to get a code from a family member. Sometimes I need to lift the block altogether to get on Facebook or look something up. In those circumstances, I need a code and be in the presence of a family member.
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Moreover, I have a timer on my computer. If Iām on longer than 2 hours in a day, it shuts down. And itās blocked between the hours of midnight and 12PM. Once itās shut down, thatās it! Not even an administrative code will unlock it. It keeps me from sneaking out of bed to act out at night.
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My TV is locked with a code that only family members know the code to. Iām unable to access our TV alone.
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My phone has a lock blocking all web browsers, FB, YouTube, Google Play, settings, etc. My Lock Me Out app has a 1 minute window each day in case I need to make any changes or provide updates. I have only only made such changes a few times last month. Usually, I just let the window expire and continue for the next day. And it has been effective.
Yeah, itās taken some work to get my house safe. But I need it because I cannot control myself. And where thereās a will, thereās a way. I simply cannot accept that I have to live with porn constantly at arms reach. Although, there is some inconveniences to my lifestyle, Iām grateful because I actually feel safe. I deserve a safe home environment.
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I got to say I admire your resolve and the preventive meassures you have taken. Could you please list the apps, blockers, etc that you use in your laptop and computer and even on the TV? Thanks!
Hi @Rico25,
These may not be suitable for everyone but it will give some ideas.
For my phone, I paid for an app called Lock me Out. My locks are set to block my settings, web browsers, YouTube, Facebook, Google Play, etc. from 12:00AM to 11:59PM everyday. I discovered that the lock wonāt renew each day if I set it from 12AM to 12AM. It does provide a minute opportunity to disable the lock each day, but itās a lot better than nothing.
My TV at home has got a BOB timer. Itās a device that locks the TV plug and I cannot turn on the TV without putting in a code or breaking the device which costs $100.
My computer denies me administrative access. The only web browser I have installed is Firefox and I purchased an add-on called Foxfilter. With that Iāve whitelisted out any websites that are not on my whitelist.
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Kevin thanks for the quick reply. I appreciate it man. Iāve been reading a lot of your posts. Thanks for sharing your thoughts and feelings. It takes courage. And thank you for all the useful information. God bless you man.
Thanks @Rico25. Welcome to TS.
Sounds like you can relate a lot to my struggles. This forum of people is saving my life. Different addictions, but weāre so much alike. Great friends here. Hope to hear from you more.
Hi @KevinesKay you have made some smart moves! I tried covenant eyes and other software but always found the loopholes. Now I use Boomerang on my phone. Itās great for after 9pm it blocks off all internet browsers on my phone.
I pack away my laptop and that helps.
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Do we have anyone new here? Anyone wanna say hi if youāre nee on this group?
Hi Everyone. Checking in. Will be clean two days if I stay sober tonight. Pray for me that I can stay away from all sexual content tonight.
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