On here to try get some help, tryed the gp but there no sure what direction to go in, years now iv been addicted to porn , controlled myself over the last few days.
I was literally masterbaiting and watch porn seven days a week.
However its taking to new levels i was on chat sites taking to people about sex. Just for fiction, iv never cheated but the mrs seen the chats and its created big problems in the family , im straight, watch straight porn but got to the stage i was messaging women and men about sex . And getting off .
Its like the urge got stronger and i was looking else where
Yes. You have an addiction and you need help. Welcome to Talking Sober!
I was very similar to you. With me, porn every day of the week, sometimes all night, missing work days in a row.
I started by visiting a sex addiction clinic in my city. Later I joined Sexaholics Anonymous. Take a look in your area and see what kind of sex addiction recovery programs exist.
I’m gonna lay some hard truth on you here: there really isn’t a line for us where we “haven’t cheated” (on ourselves or our spouse) if we’ve only been online. For people with a lust addiction - which is really what the masturbation and porn is about: lust, fantasy, escape, objectification, sexual behaviour without any commitment or investment, to a level that is an addiction - the line is crossed when you start down that slippery path of “just looking a little”. It’s the sex and lust addiction equivalent of having “just one drink”.
But one day at a time. Personally I found Sexaholics Anonymous was very helpful for me. There are other sex addiction recovery groups too. If you search “PMO” here on Talking Sober there are some active threads; have a look, you’ll find you’re not alone.
Cheers mate, shes going to support me through it , got couples therapy coming up, gp daid there going to speak to a psychologist see if they can get the ball running,
With the exteames it went to my partner thinks no im bi or gay. Diesnt get that ut was just chat, im not attracted to guys at all but if they wanted to chat i would . Total fiction in the head as if i was just reading porn . If there was no face they just didnt feel like reality
This kind of behaviour - sexualizing everything, doesn’t matter the gender or whatever - is very common in people with a sex addiction; you’re not alone.
It’s not real intimacy. It’s an addiction, it’s all about that “chase” - just like any addiction; it’s all about the next drink.
I’m not against therapy or gaining support from a spouse, but that’s not what I consider good connection by themselves.
I’m not a people person, but it doesn’t change the fact that I need people. So I have them in my life. At least 20 men, that know me, and are looking out for my personal and spiritual growth. Please don’t ignore this major need. Lack of connection is a far bigger root problem than my addiction to porn, which is but a symptom.
Also, read Easy Peasy. It’s a free resource based on Allen Carr’s Easy Way, for porn addiction. It helps to address the deeper rooted problem of brainwashing.
