Recently, I’ve had a brief, but critical falter in my trouble with porn. I encountered a post on social media that led me back to lust and it ruined the relationship I had with the person I love. I lied to her at first and then told her truth and she refuses to call it a porn “addiction” because she believes calling it an addiction enables people to “sugar coat” this problem. So I want to make this change in quitting pornography not only to better myself, but primarily to keep the relationship I have with the person I love intact.
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Sorry to hear about your trouble with this; I know it is hard. I am in recovery from lust too.
It is pernicious and can easily be deadly. There’s no “sugar-coating” involved in recognizing this is an addiction. It is not a choice. Who would choose to miss days of work because of acting out all night? Who would choose to get in a car accident and nearly die because of acting out while driving? (and it could easily be deadly) Who would choose to betray a marriage or another committed relationship? Who chooses the behaviours of lust addiction?
Addiction is not some kind of excuse, any more than calling me a diabetic is an excuse. The fact is that my pancreas doesn’t make insulin. It doesn’t matter what label I give to the problem, I still need to take insulin injections and monitor my blood sugar, in order to live a healthy life. I need to focus on managing the situation every day.
The facts of my lust addiction are the same. I need to learn to manage my condition so I can be healthy and safe.
For me I did that through Sexaholics Anonymous. There are many meetings available in person and online. There are many members who face a problem exactly like you describe here. Reach out to them and they can connect you with a meeting:
Remember you are doing this for yourself first, because if you don’t manage your health for yourself, no one else is going to do it.
Welcome to Talking Sober!
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Just a little clarifying about choice: the choice is about the solution, not the problem. I didn’t choose this problem, but I am choosing the solution.
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