Hey. Im in a rut right now and I need to vent, and I need to vent hard. I’ve been in the nofap/noporn journey for quite some time, but never felt this bad in a while. I feel like im on the edge of a relapse.
Me as a celibate is such an anxious freak. A desperate partner seeker. In need for sex all the time and never seem to be able to fully be myself or keep a romantic date. And I’m so sick of it. I’m doing so well in school, and my physical health is well, but my love life is in the gutter and my mind is gone most of the time. I don’t have family here. I live alone, and the loneliness kills me along with the stress of celibacy. As I have no one to talk to. No one to share love with, including myself, and I feel like a pressure cooker every day. Its so hard to find a real relationship when I am in this state, and i dont know if I can handle being alone for so long. Thanks for listening to my mental vomit.
Hey Youravgaddict,
I’m Mitch, fellow porn addict here. I’m currently 30 days clean but have been working toward sobriety since 2014. There’s been some long periods of relapse in there.
I have some questions for you. Are you voluntarily celibate? Humans are social beings. I do believe we need to touch others and feel emotional connection with others. I’m married and I think having the relationship with my wife has helped me in working toward developing a healthy sexuality. Though, as you can see from my relapse cycle, I’m not perfect. Many porn addicts speak about “re-wiring” to sex with real relationships.
If you feel like you’re white knuckling it maybe try joining a 12-step program geared toward sex addiction. Maybe through having meaningful contact with people with similar struggles it could give you the confidence to strive for a healthy relationship. We need a support system to succeed with sobriety. Many people find that through SLAA meetings.
I have been feeling the same way for a while now. I have been alone most of my life. I have only had one girl in my life. I have been feeling even more lonely since I got sober, I cut off all my friends. Just like you I have always been an anxious mess. Just going outside right now gives me panic attacks.I have gotten more suicidal over the past weeks. . I have been suicidal since I was 15 years old. But I am trying to learn that there is light at the end of the tunnel.I am not going to give up. I am also doing Nofap. We must be patient. We did alot of damage to our brain watching porn. It’s going to take a while to rewire our brains. Just don’t go back to that same shit. We know its just going to set us back and we will have to start all over. I have known anxiety and depression all my life I want to be happy for once in my life too. Be patient I have to learn to be patient too. But never give up
I understand the anxiety part. I’ve been there. I’ve stayed up 3 days straight with panic. What’s helped the most is slowly turning attention inward and getting to the root. It takes a lot of reflection.
I have read alot of people’s stories in the Nofap website and I think I am on a flatline. Just a week after starting it I felt happy confident with no anxiety or depression. I made a list of things I have never been able to do. I was motivated but now I’m just down and out. Supposedly its the brain " rewiring " itself. Is this true? I can’t wait to feel that confidence and happiness again.
I mean. That’s not my addiction, just read your post. But what makes something an addiction is how it impacts your life. I personally think nofap is bunk but if that or porn are problems in your life then maybe it’s the best choice.
Thanks I guess…
And I know what an addiction is.
I understand you.
42 years old. Single. Dealing with PMO since I was 13 years old. Three girlfriends during this time. Porn never had been a real solution for my need of love and intimacy.
Helping others in shelters, visiting the sick, works of charity…always helped me to address this need I have to love and being loved
@Psalm62 sex/porn/love/masturbation addictions are all real, I’ve been one for probably 35 years or so with the last 3 1/2 years sober. One of the things that helped me at first was a counselor and I would suggest you find one to help you with the panic attacks and what sounds to me like depression.