A porn and sex addict never gets satisfied with one person. He or she always wants more. Just like an alcoholic cannot stop at one drink. Once is never enough. It’s really sad and destructive.
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Seems like it all goes together
Also beware it can escalate. Many years ago it started as porn, then peep shows, then strip clubs and lap dances, then even a few escorts. (I was married with children even) It can be a horrible and shameful addiction, and not taken very seriously. I eventually got help and stopped, but sadly I stopped more because the “fun money” ran dry, and alcohol took over. Now I am working on that. People should also consider SA and outpatient programs.
hey there. my husband has been struggling with this for most of his life. i feel terribly for him… he recently reached out to me while very distressed telling me “i am afraid there will never be any peace from this” that really effected me. i am in SMART recovery for alcohol i suggested he should try it…he is reluctant to treatment he thinks that nothing will really work. longest he has been sober is 6 months. anything in particular really help u guys? its such a painful thing to witness i would love to help him of i can
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Hey @jaimelee, hats off to you for being supportive during this challenging time. I know that it can’t always be easy for you.
Speaking from someone who’s been at this awhile, what’s worked for me is setting good boundaries in my life to steer me away from the bad things and start doing the good things. For me, I don’t see this as a list of dos and don’ts. I see it as steering myself in a better direction.
For me, it’s not only about the addiction. I have to demonstrate that I’m managing my life, that I’m developing healthy friendships, that I’m present as a father and a husband, and that I keep a positive attitude.
Perhaps I’ll share more what my boundaries are at a later date. Setting good boundaries is something that many recovering addicts don’t get around to doing.
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So today my wife opens the oven, takes out a pan, and it catches against the heating element. It creates a short and cuts out the power to the entire house. We discover that our main breaker is fried. So I’m waiting for some help to get this fixed. Meanwhile, we are in the dark.
Otherwise, I like Sundays. I get the chance to go to church with the family and reach out to some friends. I’m getting back into my weekly to-do list again. I’ll share it here each week to fill you in on my progress. Thanks everyone.
@KevinesKay I’m glad your finding ways to overcome your addiction. I know it’s not easy. Keep moving forward with your coping tools!
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Normally I can make it a few weeks/months between failures but I can’t seem to pull myself of this funk, probably because I’m away from my family on business for a few weeks and have a lot more free time than usual. I am going to an addiction recovery meeting for the first time tonight in hopes that I can shake things up and make some progress.
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Hey @BrLo, good idea. Going to my first meeting was like a breath of fresh air. All the members were so much like me. Very encouraging.
I can’t think of a worse trigger than being away secluded at a hotel. Many addicts with long term sobriety have fallen in such places
For me, I think I would have to yank the TV out of the room and check in regularly with someone while I’m there
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In my twenties, I had the privilege of taking part in an outreach meeting at a youth treatment center. And my recovery and sobriety was shaky at best. Well, I acted out and after I shared about my relapse, one of the young members gave me a word of advice. He said, “We have a saying. Stop counting the days and start making them count.” Well, I didn’t receive his comment very well. I thought to myself, " Here I am demonstrating honesty, and here’s some punk-rat 16-year old kid giving me unsolicited feedback saying, “Stop counting the days and start making them count.”
Well, to this day, his comment stuck with me. And I realize the importance of doing more with myself than just avoiding acting out. It’s important that I demonstrate to you and myself that I’m making my life count.
Be prepared for me to show you how that looks like in the near future.
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I can’t believe that I had never gone to a meetimg like that before. I don’t know why it was so intimidating. It was a breath of fresh air, just like you said. I felt much better afterwards and throughout the whole day.
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I identify. This is really hard. I have 13 years in one program, have had years in others but counting days here but really fighting now. My wife died five years ago so I was giving myself a pass but recently decided this is too destructive. Lets be in touch and support each other.
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Been doing some research on the porn industry and I so shocked at what I’ve contributed to. Abuse, human trafficking, prostitution, violence, STDs. Its enough for me to just avoid thinking about it. It’s been years since I researched the industry. And having that information didn’t really stop me before from acting out. I guess this time, it’s really hitting me hard.
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@Y_Anonymous, losing someone you love is difficult. But it’s good to see that you want good things in your life. And porn is not a valid substitute for love and intimacy and friendship. It sucks the life out of us and keeps us isolated from others. Would be great to encourage one another to a better path. Stay strong.
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I was a Sexual Assault Reporting Center Instructor. The one thing that always caught my attention while I was facilitating these courses was any of these assaults could have been against my mom, sister, wife or daughter. That’s when the really struck home to me. Granted I raised with a very respectful attitude towards women in general.
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I’m 35. I’m a meth user. Ii have a serious problem and I cannot quit. I watch porn and masturbate for hours on end when high on meth. Please somebody help save me. I’m a deadbeat loser with a serious amphetamine induced psychosis. I didn’t used to be this bad. My kids and wife are losing their father and partner. I’m scared to leave for rehab. Because I’m afraid the daily will find someone new to replace me when I’m gone. God knows they deserve better than my junkie meth head tweaker self. FML
if you dont mind me asking, what kind of meeting was it? id love to let me husband know…
XXX church asssists people to with coming out of porn and sexual addictions.
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LDS Addiction Recovery Meeting
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