Hey guys, first time poster, long time lurker on the talking sober community. Just wanted to put this out there and hope some people have tips or can relate.
I stumbled across porn at the age of 10 or 11, I didn’t realize it at the time but I had just drastically changed my life. Growing up in a religious family, I knew what I was doing was “wrong” as it was known taboo in my community to even discuss porn or sex. This made matters much worse as I had immense guilt and shame because of how it was viewed in my community and couldn’t really find anyone to talk to. I became conscious of the fact that this was a bad addiction around 13-14 when I remember sneaking an extra phone my dad had to stay up late and watch. I’ve probably been trying to quit since then, I’m 19 now. I’ve had countless 2-3 day streaks and even a couple 7-10 day streaks but somehow I always end up on the same websites with my dick in my hand lmao that sound bad. I’ve recently quit a 4 year nicotine addiction( hit 30 days today), but a side affect of being off nicotine is definitely a higher propensity towards porn as it is my other way to get rid of anxiety/boredom. I have other hobbies and have a pretty good structure to my day. Do any long term no-fappers have some tips or words of wisdom to share. It would be greatly appreciated thanks
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8 years sober from sex, porn, and love addiction. I put together resources here.
Similar to you, I discovered porn early in childhood. That was one of the events that flipped a switch in me, leading to a near lifetime of sexual obsession, and compulsive sex and relationships while committed to someone else, until I literally lost everything.
Glad you recognize needing to change so early. Abstinence was the beginning for me, but it was more to clear the brain fog and develop a healthy attitude towards myself and then towards others, which is leading towards a healthy attitude to everything else.
I’ll let someone with direct experience in nicotine addiction address that, but from talking with others the recovery process is similar in many ways.
Ive learned how to shut my mind off to the negative things that draw me into my addictions. Didnt have the technology we do today that makes it so accessible but magazines and television were always an open door enough to fuel my fantasies and desires. What ive figured out about myself is i know that certain things are wrong and would act on impulse and urges. It gets easier the more times i can control my irrational thinking. My faith in God and what is wrong or right guides me to do the righteous deed rather than be controlled by my sin. I dont have to chase women to try fill an empty part of me with lust because i know what real love is. When i was in 5th grade i use to steal cartons of cigarettes and sell to the older kids because i was greedy, i use to chain smoke quite often, wasnt long after the alcohol and drugs came into play. Took me several years to find myself and get right with the Lord. Now i choose to help others if i can rather than use and manipulate them. Just do your best to take care of yourself and have good intentions and a pure heart, you have a promising future if you arent corrupted by the flesh and worldly incentives. 