As I continue along in my recovery journey I find that I am internalizing so much about life in a new way. One thing that really hit me today was just how life is - & always has been - & forever will be an instant full-spectrum picture of what I am internally aware of and believe in, and what I practice based on those formed ideas.
Looking back I can clearly see, that all the dishonoring relationships and sickening events of my life during my decade of active addiction were proof of what I felt and believed about myself and the “world”. I was heartbroken and furious and delusional - and very stubborn & protective about those precious qualities of mine. And their collective taproot, fear, consumed me. Then, my experiences naturally became a direct demonstration of that. And it was chaos.
Now that I’m actively immersed in learning what to do in order to actually honor my body and my feelings, I can see how life is changing. It’s more stable, I find myself relaxing more & more is possible. Relationships with others are sweetening, and I’m getting a better handle on boundaries. Instead of feeling overwhelming desperation I’m discovering curiosity. It’s humbling, lovely and meaningful to experience the unfolding lesson of what being kind really means. It’s true, the more I’m kind to myself, the more my world is kind to me.
What positive realizations have you had along your sober and recovery journey?
Wow you explained what i felt exactly!! It was hard for me to describe. My best words were its like living in technocolor. Life seemed so sweet after getting sober. My heart swelled with gratitude.
Awww I love that for you! Technicolor is such a perfect word for it too Yes much more vivid and present! Like it feels more like what real life is supposed to feel like
When i look back on the girl i was when in active addiction i feel terrible for her…she was 100% convinced she was a failure at life and at motherhood… i wish i could tell her that in a year or so time she would hardly recognise herself for how much she has learned, grown, the strength she has, the mother she is and the person she has become… Now she can hold her head up and look herself and others in the eye, she loves herself now and knows she is a great mother that does not have to be perfect to be so, her daughter is absolutely thriving and that most of all makes her heart sing, shes pretty amazing if i do say so myself
Wow thank you for that today so positive. i can relate as you say i treat and respect myself and others so much more sober and i have an appreciation of the small things again like a walk or sunrise or even housework lol i guess when we are in active addiction there is a self hatred or under lining problem with ourselves but with time i have learnt to give myself a break and its ok to fail as long as i keep trying. Thanks again for this post has given me things to think about today
Oh ill just add since ive gone sober i believe in do good things and good things will happen
@Starlight14 & @Acehope my heart is so happy for you guys and the beautiful new way of life that you’re experiencing in sobriety. It really brings me joy to hear your stories of positive transformation & healing/whole-making. Thank you so much for sharing! Hope you have a fantastic day, & pat yourself on the back because you deserve it!
It’s true, the more I’m kind to myself, the more my world is kind to me.
Yes much more vivid and present! Like it feels more like what real life is supposed to feel like 
