Welcome Chloe 
You are not alone, there are many mothers who have faced alcohol, including many people here (if you search “motherhood and drinking” or “parenting drinking” or “mommy wine culture” or similar searches you’ll find threads.
It is possible to get clean and be the person you want to be. It takes effort and it takes community (which can be Talking Sober and / or other communities as well; there are some options for groups listed here Resources for our recovery)
Welcome to Talking Sober. It’s nice to meet you! You’ve found your people. We’ve been where you are.